[Return to Writing Page]| Given By: | [Deleted User] |
| Critique Date: | 08/06/2008 |
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| Critique: | Hey, I really liked your childrens story, there are a lot of characters and many names for a child to remember, however that doesn't detract from your story. It is written in an uncomplicated style, and is easy to read. Nicely rounded off at the end. There is a problem with the haphazard formatting of the piece which makes the story seem a bit long, suggest you send an I.M to a site helper (front page) or ask Katina how to rectify the problem. On the lighter side,your second paragraph needs some attention, it's difficult to decide whether he turns Joe,Chuck and his wife out to graze or the animals. Just needs the second sentence re-writing. Good story. |
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| Grade: |  |
Replies:
 Thankyou so very much | Posted by:   enamoured 
on 08/06/2008 06:12 AM |
Hey, thanks for the critique and encouraging comments.I'm glad you found this piece interesting.
Oh and special thanks for the formatting tip! It was really driving me up the wall.
cheers!:-) |
Post #727 |
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