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Query on Hallows' Night

Gleam of moonshine this hallowed night...


lends its magic, or trick of light?




Silvery white that moon bestows,


fades pumpkin of sunbeam orange glow


sinister tendrils, wrinkles deep


hearts to choke, souls to reap




Gleam of moonshine this hallowed night,


lends its magic... or trick of light?



by raenie (Viewed 352 times)

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This was written for a piciture prompt contest (white pumpkin) had a hard time with this since there was a 50 word limit--whew! Will try to post my other poem that didn't make it to the 50 word cut ;) Thanks for reading! Not entirely sure of my title yet though...

**tried a different title, hope this works better ;)

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Other Critiques of this Work
Given By: madaddicted
Critique Date:10/21/2009

Critique:  This is a perfect Halloween poem. It has a nice mischievous feel to it. It flows well and the imagery you used is amazing. I love the lines- Silvery white that moon bestows, fades pumpkin of sunbeam orange glow. Happy early Halloween!
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


Given By: bluemoon
Critique Date:10/19/2009

Critique:  Hi Nikko, this is a great halloween poem, the tone is perfect. I love every word of it, and using the same couplet to open and close the poem works really well. My favourite lines - sinister tendrils, wrinkles deep  hearts to choke, souls to reap. The title is okay, but perhaps something that reflects the sinister tone of the poem more closely would be good; Pumpkin of Halloween sounds quite cute. Thanks for sharing it with us :)
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


 
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