CATEGORY: Poetry
My Dragon’s Tooth from Karash
I’m up early this morning, I’m having biscuits and jam. I get a knock on my door, but that lock's tight as a clam. It is my best friend Karoot, has something held in his hand. He is really excited, as he has found something grand. “Hey Rondo!” he yells at me, “Come on and open the door!” “I have something to show you, something I know you’ll adore.” Karoot does talk himself in, has a big smile on his face. He’s holding his hand up high, as he is winning a race. “Look here at what I have found, while emptying out my trash.” “It was stuck in an old bag, someone was hiding their stash.” Looks to me like it’s ivory, it's kind of long and it’s curved. I wonder where it came from, wonder what purpose it served. “It looks to me like a tusk.” and then he let out a laugh. “Or a tooth with some kind of spell, it would look good on my staff.” “A tooth from some dead dragon.” He said “It looks so damned real” “Yes it’s authentic” we laughed, “And you can tell by the feel.” We keep on making this tale, about the thing from the trash. Now it's a magical tooth, and it all came from Karash. Karash had an old castle, in a time before ours. Karash has since been destroyed, by strong meteor showers. By magic the wizard lived, survived the terrible storm. In anger he cast a spell, he then took on dragon’s form. Then he flew away angry, he said someday he'd return. Then the dragon exploded, nothing was left there to burn. As the cinders did settle, wind blew away the debris. There is no dragon body, the wizard's spirit is free. No proof is left of the tale, just a carcass turned to ash. A light now gleams in darkness, the dragon’s tooth from Karash. This tooth holds magic powers, no one will ever believe. Power to rule over Earth, this is what one will achieve. We tell this tale by fires, to try and scare all the young. But how can we imagine, true horror hasn’t begun. Our made up legend has spread, to lands that we haven’t seen. The tale has raised suspicion, to men that some call obscene. And now huge armies do march, unknowingly to our land. Evil men wanting power, right in the palm of their hand. Slaughter to us is unknown, women and children will die. Greed has grabbed hold of their hearts, race is now on for the sky. We hear hoof beats and trumpets, everyone now runs in fear. We try to run for our lives, and save those that we hold dear. Our homes burning with fire, smoke is so thick you can’t see. Running in all direction, trying to keep ourselves free. Now I hear them behind me, and then I’m pulled from the ground. A hood is thrown on my head, it’s taken away all sound. I’m thrown and I’m bounced around, and then the hood is removed. He yelled, and spit on my face, I still don’t know what that proved. “We’re after the tooth!” he yelled, I stood just shaking with fear. The story has traveled far, that much we now know is clear. “That’s just a story we tell”, “To keep our kids home at night.” “We tell it by the fire, we try to fill them with fright” “You liar!” he yelled at me, “You want that power yourself!” “Woo Hoo!” someone said gladly, the tooth was found on the shelf. “I told you they lie.” he said, we have concluded our quest. Nothing seems real, it's crazy, a spear is now in my chest. As I'm watching the slaughter, life’s being drained out of me. My people are now butchered, because of a tale by me. Promise of power has fueled them, mankind itself can be bad. Blood lust has taken these men, the future now will be sad. Men here are killing us all, just for the tooth of Karash. This is not from a dragon, it came from a pile of trash.
by Sgt B (Viewed 216 times)
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| Other Critiques of this Work |
| Given By: | Katina
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| Critique Date: | 07/11/2008 |
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| Critique: | Wow Ron, what an extraordinary tale! What I like most about your writing style is how fresh and unique it is. There is a sense of "classic" literature, mixed in with the problems of today. I am a little behind this week with course work, but I promise you that I will find you an agent. Your writing never disappoints me, ever. Thank you for sharing your poetry, this is entertaining stuff! PS. The dialogue and narration make this poem worth 4 starts! Great work here.
Could I have your permission to re-post this poem in the member forum, to get a discussion going about the style of poetry (narrative, lyric, epic) I am unsure at this point what style it can be classified in (alone). What I am thinking is that you may have a new style, from all of the works that I have read of yours. I would like to have you send me several of your poems so I can review them further to see if you have a "new form going here." That would be impressive!
Thanks again!
I am a big fan! |
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| Grade: |  |
| Given By: | CountryAngel
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| Critique Date: | 07/07/2008 |
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| Critique: | I liked this Sgt. B...
Like always kept me reading...
I'm reading the book " Eragon ", by : Christopher Paolini.
Started out boring, but now getting better. Something like your poem !
(I belong to a book club). |
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| Grade: |  |
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