CATEGORY: Poetry


Boogeyman

Shadows, shadows on the wall


Slinking down across my bed


Banches scrape across the house


Scratching, etching through my head


 


Laughing, laughing do I hear


Breathing sharp, I try to scream


Pull the covers up too close


Teeth so sharp, I see them gleam


 


Running, running down the hall


Running into every wall


No one hears me, all but it


Getting closer as I fall


 


Cornered, cornered, I slink down


Cowering in my defeat


Holding out my hands to pray


Fearful of the fate I meet


 


Broken, broken  do I lay


Knees pulled close upon the floor


Dreaming of a safer place


Secrets will I tell no more


 


Whisper, whisper make no sound


Touch the wounds upon my face


Boogeyman lives down the hall


Forever will she haunt this place



by Apparition (Viewed 174 times)

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Other Critiques of this Work
Given By: kuirq
Critique Date:07/27/2008

Critique:I've only had an inkling of the Boogeyman through American movies and TV shows (even if we have night creatures here in the Philippines, none I think would be a local version of the Boogeyman...maybe I will share those creatures one day). Anyway, it was an interesting read. The repetition of the first word helped in creating a somewhat fearful tone, since it becomes sort of a chant. Oh, and a question: I wonder why you used "banches" instead of "benches"? And the ending sort of took me by surprise since I always had this idea that the Boogeyman was a guy, but I liked it.
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Grade:Good


Given By: Sgt B
Critique Date:07/16/2008

Critique:I liked this portrail (I could really use spell check here. ;)  ) of fear that you used here. i liked the format 7 flow. There seems to be hidden message here. Good job i liked it. ~Ron~

Grade:Good


Given By: david lavisher
Critique Date:07/16/2008

Critique:Hi, it's been a while since I read anything to do with night fears.  I don't know anything about the 'Boogeyman' I suppose it's similar to the 'Bogeyman' that we (British) use.  Usually, here, the apparition is used for children's tales as a means to keep the kids quiet in bed.  Do you think the last line in the 4th verse might read better with 'Fearful of the fate I'll meet'? I also don't know whether Boogeyman covers both male and female  - if it does, the last two lines are okay. If not you have a change of gender, (Boogeyman to she). 'Boogeyman lives down the hall // Forever will she haunt this place'. I really like the poem, it's like something you would find in a Stephen King novel.       

Grade:Good


Given By: CountryAngel
Critique Date:07/16/2008

Critique:Hi Apparition,Wow, I havn't heard about the Boogyman in a long time..Nice write.

Grade:Good


 
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