CATEGORY: Poetry


The Future We Build

Slipping through the satin ribbons, champagne glasses, brightened laughter


Obsessed with this vision that I'm meaning something


Wave and smile, wave and smile, let us dance into the sun


Taken to the marble floor, flowing music, we fly so high


Touching stars and dust, nothing is darkened


I spin and stare at the unreality


 


Marble shatters, I fall through to the real


Now I can see what you've meant all this time


We'd traded our lives for a gilded guillotine


Satin ribbons turn to dust, champagne to Whiskey and Gin


Leering laughter as I stumble into this world of real


All faces look suspicious, and I'm shaking, I'm reeling


I can't believe these things that I'm feeling


And now I can feel your pain, I'm sorry I now see


 


I know that everyone is here, but I turn and they turn as well


Everyone I looked up to once shed their skins to become the villains


Heroes turn to ash in burning flames of the undead and I'm cast out


And now I can feel your pain, I'm sorry I now see


Your children are dying for your lost causes and crimson eyes with green lined pockets


 


I'm thinking I'm crazy as I stand here in the red


Staring at castles crashing and falling into dark


Flames taking their place, casting shadows to the broken sky


Organs chime death and laugh darkly in their sick humor at failed attempts


Heavied footsteps march to our deaths 1-2-and-3 Turn. Gunshots fire


Trading neckties for nooses, and wedding bands for weapons


Blame has been given the name Murder as we carve our coffins and point our broken fingers


Shadows fall from towers with arms outstrechted casting crosses against the walls 


 


This world of fire and brimstone, fabricated from your sermons of damnation


Finally coming to surface under your supervision


This place you called Redemption, a land of forgiveness


Who're the villains of the damned in your eyes now?


You children that cower, look at what we've made for you


Intake the breath of smoke and vision of the reality we've worked so hard to create for you


 


I want to say goodbye. I wish to leave but everywhere else is gone


I shead my first tears of malice and cry for a future that will never be


Now I can see your pain, I'm sorry I now see


God save us, God save us we've blown out your candles


But they won't stop us. They can't hold us


I won't give up, the end is so much closer than it was before


I know this night will one day end


Without us or not



by Apparition (Viewed 72 times)

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Other Critiques of this Work
Given By: Musimwa
Critique Date:08/27/2008

Critique:Imagery,  did well to this piece. I love it. It has all the emotion;anger a heart may contain. This is good poet. I love this piece. Keep it up

Grade:Excellent


Given By: Dennis
Critique Date:08/25/2008

Critique:A very thought provoking poem. You touch upon so many different areas that it is hard to coin one particular focus. Your poem started out with the good life then abruptly fell in to the relm of real. You discribe real as being a controlled environment offering very little and almost devoid of choices. You paint a harsh reality with little redemption in the end. With us or not?
[View Replies]

Grade:Good


 
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