CATEGORY: Poetry Bookmark and Share



If I had my way

If I had my way,


I would turn back the hands of time


To the days when I was a baby


The days mama did everything for me


Those were the golden days


Days in the world I had no worries


Days forever I will lament over


The days mama did everything for me.


 


If I had my way,


I would turn back the hands of time


To the memorable days  at school


The days when most came on silver a plate


Those were the silver days;


The days I learned to work for myself


Days forever I will lament over;


The days past’s fog had devoured.


 


If I had my way,


I would turn back the hands of time


To the days I was but a teenager;


The days of innocence and pleasure


Those were the best days


Days of trial and error


Days forever, I will lament over


The days I learned how bittersweet life is…



by Dorie (Viewed 1358 times)

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Other Critiques of this Work
Given By: Musimwa
Critique Date:10/06/2009

Critique:Amai imi, how are u and family? Great piece here. If i had my way, what a childhood wish, u have described it so nicely. Keep it up. Kenya is still ok. Pass greetings to all
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Grade:Excellent


Given By: wavinghello
Critique Date:02/21/2009

Critique:This is really well written and something everyone can relate too. Well done.

Grade:Excellent


Given By:[Deleted User]
Critique Date:10/28/2008

Critique:Hi Dorie, It's nice to hear the music of your time, meet old friends, think about old relationships and enjoy visiting the past (well not my past he,he. but everyone elses), fast motorbikes, never having any money, constantly seeing the front of a policemans jacket Lol  Then I look at the $40,000 car, holidays everywhere, house in the country - you know stuff like that, and think it would be a coin flip as to which one I'd prefer.  Nostalgia's great and the piece provides that for everybody. it's well written a small cameo of someones past - like a photograph really.

Grade:Excellent


Given By: Dennis
Critique Date:10/27/2008

Critique:Your write made so much sense. When all is said and done and you are close to death, all you have left are your memories. Your last line is the clincher "The days I learned how bittersweet life is." I think we can call that maturity, the same reasons your mama worried about you and that is what we give our children in turn. You write some good stuff Dorie.

Grade:Excellent


Given By: Sgt B
Critique Date:10/24/2008

Critique:Awww fond memories are the best. I am sure everyone can relate with this one. Great job. ~Ron~

Grade:Excellent


 
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