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Bar Trick




It’s a bar trick, he said.  It’s supposed to be simple.  Well it’s not, he said back.  It’s not simple.  In fact, I can’t figure it out at all.  Not even the first step.  Show me.  I won’t, the man said.  I will show you another one.  That won’t help me, the boy said.  The girl had said nothing; she simply sat.  The boy became bored and took a few steps away from the man, the girl, and the surely impossible trick.  It was a nice day.  A bit cloudy, but warm and dry and just the right time of day.  The sun was about to set and the world was purple.  Everything looked taller than it usually did today.  But that was beside the point.  The point was there was a boy and a girl and a trick and a man and nothing was being solved.  The man would not tell the boy the answer.  The boy would not tell the girl he loved her.  The girl would not solve the trick.  And the trick remained impossible.


Walk with me, he said.  The girl said nothing but began walking away from the boy. The boy skipped to catch up.  Where are we going, she asked.  Somewhere we can see the sun.  There was only a single grassy hill in this world today and it was a bit taller than usual. The hill was perfectly round, so round that finding the perfect place to sit was a chore.  He got tired of looking and she got tired of following and so they both fell to the ground, the sun setting in their sights.  Beautiful.  So beautiful, he said.  She greed.  Lie back, he said.  You can look up at the sky here with nothing else in your view.  It looks like the whole world is clouds, and you’re in the middle of them.  That really is beautiful, she said.  The hill felt good.  The sun felt good too.  It was a good day.  But he felt something was missing.  The trick.  And although everything seemed perfect now, he could not help but feel a hole in his day.  Damn, he said. What?  I can’t do this yet.  Why?  I don’t know the answer.  Curiosity.  It wasn’t only the cat. The boy sat up and looked at the girl.  He did love her.  He looked down at the old man and the unsolved trick.  It was far and long and steep and messy.  Curiosity.  Damn cat.  He had to make up his mind soon, the sun was going down and the world was shrinking.  She was beautiful.  She really was.  And it was long and far and steep and messy.  But he began to roll.  And when he got to the bottom of the hill, he turned and looked up at the girl.  She was lying there, looking up at the cloudy world.  He hoped he could always look back at her and see her there, happy and staring at beauty.  But he looked towards the trick now and walked with confidence.  He walked up to the old man and asked him for the answer to the trick.  The man showed him.  He stood there sturdy.  He looked back at the hill; at her.  Now I know, he said. Yes, now you know.  Did I do it right?  That, the old man began.  That, I do not know.  And there is no one to tell you down here.  She knew.  The boy looked around at this world.  The girl was gone and he was at the bottom of the hill.  He must find another to climb that hill with. One that will tell him the answer before he leaves.



by Kess

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Other Critiques of this Work
Given By: Dennis
Critique Date:01/30/2009

Critique:I apologize that your post came out the way it did, it happened another time when a person copied from Note pad then posted. When you copy from Word, it does a better job. I liked your write, the trick, the girl, the boy, the curiosity and the old man who had the wisdom. I think the boy learned to make his move when he had the chance and if he loved the girl then the hell with curiosity, my opinion anyhow.

Grade:Good


 
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