CATEGORY: Poetry Bookmark and Share



The Woods At Dusk

The woods at dusk, a lonely place,


a nook to hide I find.


A rush of leaves, a snap of twigs,


sounds playing with my mind.


 


Afraid to move, afraid to breathe,


my presence I’ll betray.


The midges bite, my legs are numb.


“Please no more”, I pray.


 


Images of fireside warmth


keep fleeting through my brain,


a glass of wine, a book, so snug,


as now begins the rain.


 


No perfume worn to give a scent,


no rustling clothes to hear.


I’ve done my best to stay unseen,


they’ll find me still, I fear.


 


Footsteps crunch, the branches move,


hairs stand up on my neck.


In mortal danger now, I feel,


can’t keep my heart in check.


 


At last they show, it’s all worthwhile,


the peanuts worked a treat.


My patience is rewarded,


young badgers at my feet.



by guinevere

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Other Critiques of this Work
Given By: soulpath
Critique Date:03/11/2009

Critique:Beautiful piece. Saw a badger about a month ago, bottom of our street where there is some green land eating chips of all things thanks for the piece
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


Given By: Dennis
Critique Date:02/23/2009

Critique:Like the others, I thought there was an eminent danger about to strike as you set it up, the twist at the end was very unexpected. Nice flow of words and the pictures it created in the readers mind were vivid. Took us for a enjoyable ride with a warm and pleasent ending. Good Job.
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


Given By: bluemoon
Critique Date:02/18/2009

Critique:This is a nice poem; from the title right through to the last line you keep the reader engaged. You build the tension nicely throughout the write and then your last stanza delivers a lovely twist. The poem flows easily and rhymes well, I enjoyed it very much.
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


Given By: raenie
Critique Date:02/14/2009

Critique:Hi Guinevere, & welcome to OSWS! First off, I love your name, not to mention the title of your wonderful poem :). It sets the tone really well right from the start, & adds a bit of mystery as well "what does happen at teh woods at dusk?". I totally agree with what Katina has said, and it deserves to be spotlighted! ---I loved the imagery that you used, it almost made we sit still as well, not knowing what to expect, and then, I just had to smile at the end..whew! You had me scared there at the start!---You built up te poem perfectly with a great nice twist in the end, I'm sure other readers will enjoy it as much! looking forward to reading more of your writes, thanks for sharing! :) & Happy Valentine's Day!
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


Given By: kuirq
Critique Date:02/14/2009

Critique:Welcome to OSWS, guinevere! The flow of your poem is great, and the ending is indeed unexpected. It made me smile, but at first I thought it was something to get worried about.  You have a way of describing the scene that brings your reader along with you in the woods. I enjoyed reading your first poem, I look forward to reading more. Thank you for sharing.
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


Given By: Katina
Critique Date:02/13/2009

Critique:Outstanding poem! I nominated the poem for the front page, Spotlight. If other members vote for the poem, you could win the weekly Spotlight award--this comes with a ribbon! Congrats on being nominated for the weekly spotlight. --What I like most about the poem is the way the words flowed. The theme is good, format/structure and the word choices. Absolutly beautiful! Great work poet. I forgot to mention one of the best elements to the poem, and that is the descriptions used/imagry can either make or break a poem, too much and it can take away from a work, too little leaves the reader to wonder. This poem has a good level of descriptive elements to reveal images. Nice work.
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


 
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