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The Adventures of Stevie the Salmon

Stevie the salmon lived and played in the most beautiful lake.  It was the only place he

 

had known since he hatched.  The water was clear, there was lots of food, all his friends

 

and family, of which there were many, lived there too.

 

One day his mother and father gathered all the kids together.

 

“The rainy time is coming” his father said. “The lake that is your home is going to

 

become a dangerous place.”

 

“Please remember to be careful” Mother Salmon urged,” Remember what you have been

 

taught.  When there is danger we meet in the cave behind the big rock.”

 

All the salmon agreed.

 

That night the rain started.  All the salmon hovered together in the dark cave.  The wind

 

was coming stronger.  Stevie was afraid, the water was moving very fast and he was

 

having a hard time staying in the cave.  He tried to call out for help, but it was too noisy.

 

He got caught in the fast moving water.  He was trying to get back to the cave, swimming

 

as hard as he could.  The fast water pulled him away.

 

Stevie knew he was being taken away from his home and started looking around for

 

things he would remember to get back home.

 

When the fast water finally stopped, Stevie was very hungry.  He knew he was far from

 

home. 

 

Stevie started to explore this strange new place in search of food.

 

Stevie did find some food to eat; luckily it wasn’t all swept away by the fast water.  Now

 

that he had eaten, he was very tired so he found a safe place and had a sleep.

      

When Stevie woke up he felt refreshed and strong.  He did some more investigation to

 

find out where he was.  He asked some of the other fish, a bass and a pike, but they were

 

lost too.  Stevie began to get scared.  He had never been this far from home or his family. 

 

He missed them a lot.

 

Stevie started searching for the way he came to be here.  He saw a rock; the moss on it

 

was shaped like a star. “I remember that!” Stevie said. “I saw that when the fast water

 

stopped.”

 

Stevie was very excited and started to swim up the river.  Swimming against the water

 

was hard.  Stevie could only make it a little ways when he had to stop.  He swam into a

 

small cave to rest.  There was food in here as well.  Stevie ate again. 

 

Once he was rested Stevie tried again.  Slowly making his way up the river.  He often

 

tired and needed to rest.

 

It seemed as if the river was getting smaller.  Stevie was scared.  He knew he could not

 

live out of the water.  The water deepened again into a large pond.  There were many

 

other fish here.  Stevie met lots of new friends.

 

“Stevie?” he heard “Stevie, is that you?”

 

Stevie turned around very fast. “Sally? Sally! I’ve missed you. Are we home?”

 

“No” Sally cried” The way is up ahead.  The walls are high, and the water is very fast.  I

 

keep trying, we all do, but we keep getting swept back.”

 

“Aw, Sally, we’ll find a way home, at least now we are together.

 

Sally smiled.  Stevie and Sally swam together, ate together, just stayed together.  Then it

 

got dark and they slept.

   

Over the next few weeks, Stevie and Sally really became the best of friends.  The water

 

coming over the big walls had pretty much stopped and it had gotten very cold.

 

They still missed their families.

 

During the cold time, Stevie and Sally ate a lot of food and grew to be beautiful big fish.

 

The water was starting to get warmer again and the water was moving again.

 

“Sally, do you hear that?” Stevie suddenly yelled with delight “The water is coming over

 

the walls again! We can get home!”  With this he snapped his tail and jumped high into

 

the air.

 

“How did you do that?” Sally asked “You were out of the water for a minute and you

 

were OK.  You went so high.”

 

Stevie and Sally spent the rest of the day learning how to jump and seeing who could

 

jump the highest.  They were going to try to go up tomorrow.

 

Stevie and Sally were having so much fun and making so much noise, they were

 

definitely causing a stir.  Once the jumping had stopped they were approached by the

 

very large crab that lived in the pond.

 

“What’s all this noise about” the crab asked in his gruff voice.

 

 “We are going to jump up the high walls in the water” Sally puffed.

 

“That can’t be done, you’ll never make it “said a water snake who was slithering by.

 

“We can jump really high” Stevie argued “and we are very strong.”

 

The snake slipped away into the rocks “humph” he said as he went.

 

Sally was very upset by the way the snake had behaved.

    

“You believe it can be done, don’t you?” she almost cried.

 

“I think” said the crab “that if you believe hard enough, anything is possible.”

 

Stevie and Sally thanked the kind crab.  They ate and slept well that night.

 

As day broke, the water coming down the big walls was constant but not as fast as it was

 

the day before.

 

Stevie and Sally did not eat much breakfast because they did not want to be weighted

 

down.  They started doing slow laps across the pond.

 

It seemed everyone was out that morning, the sea horses, turtles, sunfish, bass, perch,

 

snails even the water snake peeked out from behind his rock.  There was a buzz of voices

 

all wondering if they would make it.  All agreed that Stevie and Sally were very strong.

 

Both Stevie and Sally jumped, each one by one and then together.  The splash it made

 

even got the frogs on the bank wet.  Everyone laughed.

 

“Are you ready?” Stevie asked

 

“I think I am” said Sally.  They both were very nervous.

 

Stevie and Sally could not decide who should go first, so they agreed to go together.

 

“One, Two, Three, GO!” they said at the same time.

 

As the two salmon picked up speed, the hush around them turned into cheers.  Everyone

 

was cheering them on, even the water snake.

 

“Ready?” asked Sally “Jump.”

 

The two salmons jumped high into the air, and then thump, they landed on top of the first

 

wall.  The water up there was very shallow, but they were able to get going again.  They

 

jumped and jumped until they thought they could jump no more.

    

That’s when they looked up and noticed they had only to jump one more time.  The two

 

of them were so tired.

 

Then they heard a laugh, the loudest, high pitch laugh they ever heard.  They turned their

 

heads to look and saw two giants on land, one was really big and the other was much

 

smaller.  The smaller one was making that sound.

 

“Jump, swim Fast!” Stevie screamed.

 

Stevie and Sally leapt with all their might.  There was a mighty splash as they jumped

 

into another pond.  As they surfaced the heard the smaller giant says “Daddy, fishies”

 

“Yes son, fishes” the bigger giant said “and boy can they jump.”

 

They looked over the edge of the high walls. They had made it to the top.

 

All their friends from the pond were screaming with joy. 

 

Stevie started looking around the new pond that they found themselves in.

 

“Hey look at this” he said “it is a silver piece of something.  I remember that.”

 

“How can you remember that?”  Sally asked “You can’t have seen it before.”

 

“When I was stuck in the fast water” Stevie explained “I tried to remember things that I

 

saw so I could find my way home.  We are definitely on the right track.”

 

Stevie and Sally took a well deserved rest and had a big dinner.

 

The two salmon awoke with the sun the next morning.  They followed the river further

 

up.  It was getting much easier to swim against the water now. 

 

“Help me please, is anyone there?” they heard.

 

Stevie and Sally stopped and listened.

     

“Where are you?” asked Sally

 

“I’m over here behind the rocks” came the answer “I’m stuck and I can’t get out.”

 

Stevie and Sally went toward the sound. There were few small rocks blocking something.

 

“We’ll help you” they said

 

They started moving the rocks one by one. Soon they could see the young crab behind the

 

rocks.  It wasn’t long until they had him free.

 

“Thank you so much” said the crab.

 

“I’m so happy to be free again.  I’m not quite sure what happened.  Where are you two

 

going?”

 

“We are trying to get back to the lake where our families are” Sally said

 

“If you are talking about Salmon Lake” the crab stated “It’s just up the river a little ways. 

 

Have you come far?”

 

“Oh yes, very far” Stevie exclaimed “I’m so happy to hear we are almost there.”

 

“Good luck to you” said the crab.

 

“Thanks and be careful” the salmon said together.

 

They hurried farther up the stream. 

 

Soon they were in their lake again. 

 

“Mother, Father!” Stevie yelled

 

“Mom, Dad!” Sally screamed.

 

They were fast surrounded by all their friends and family again.

 

“We were so worried” Father Salmon stated “Where have you been?”

      

“We looked for you after the rains, we couldn’t find you” Mother Salmon cried.

 

“I will explain it all to you Mother and Father.” Stevie beamed.

 

All the salmon came to see and hear their tale.

 

 



by LiveWire (Viewed 497 times)

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Other Critiques of this Work
Given By: Katina
Critique Date:10/08/2007

Critique:My critique is coming soon, (Need a clone of myself, lol)

Grade:Excellent


Given By:[Deleted User]
Critique Date:10/01/2007

Critique:Gotta type fast... a minute ago i wrote you this fabulously long critique and my sign in timed out before i could post :( This is a really nice story. Your dialogue is very good. In fact, it is when the dialogue picks up in the story when I became the most interested. I was wondering what age you are targeting. It seems as though the theme and the language are 4-7 years. I also was wondering if you plan on an illustrated book. I would love to see this writing after you get it in paragraphs. It would be much easier to comment on the different sections. I know for me it has been a task figuring out the editing system but sometimes I paste the writing from Word and update it to private. Then I paste it again. It seems to keep the format the second time. I was a little confused with the father and son fishing along the shore. I had to read that part twice. But I do like the relationships you create with the characters. I also particularly like the support you dipict with the other waterlife cheering the salmon on when they are attempting their big jumps. Great Job!

Grade:Good


Given By: Dennis
Critique Date:10/01/2007

Critique:Good story, although, it needs some editing and some more work. Good dialoue between the characters. Throughout the entire story I thought the ending would be "and that is why salmon always swim upstream to lay their eggs". Thanks for posting. Dennis

Grade:Good


 
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