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[Relentless Writing 10 Tokens]

Destiny of a Duet

Destiny of a Duet


 


Exquisitely tuned in soul and mind,


yet just one single heart was blind,


blinkered and focused on the past;


a duet destined not to last.


 


Dismissing new romantic gains,


instead, replaying old refrains,


seeking ease from life’s old song,


new melodies could ne’er belong.


 


A staff of pain once firmly planted,


newly twisted, words are slanted.


Communications unreturned


smother embers slowly burned.


 


Fondness once afforded lenience,


now busy life breeds inconvenience,


and a solemn pledge of friends forever,


slowly fades to almost never.


 


Silence fills life’s empty hall,


and brings the final curtain call.


 


 



by bluemoon (Viewed 653 times)

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Other Critiques of this Work
Given By: Alexgia
Critique Date:03/16/2009

Critique:This piece moved along wonderfully. I loved it. Very nice...Can't wait to read more from you.  
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


Given By: Ronin Sumomo
Critique Date:03/05/2009

Critique:Very poignant poem because it strikes very close to home. This poem creates a lot of conflict because with unconditional love nothing should be above two individuals' relationship, but "the final curtain call" happens all the time. I appreciate this piece because of the conflict it creates. Not to mention the style and rhyme used to compose this piece.  
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


Given By: Katina
Critique Date:03/05/2009

Critique:I am rating this a 4 because of the flow, language and your ability to move the reader. I would have liked to read more in the poem, purhaps an additional stanza or two (hmmm, not sure if that is needed) looking at the previous reviews. Great work Sharon. You know I'm a fan of your poetry.
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


Given By: kuirq
Critique Date:03/02/2009

Critique:I love how lyrical this is. The flow is beautiful and very smooth, and so it's very easy to read indeed. It's melancholic, and the last line has an effect that echoes even after you've finished reading it.  Thank you for posting this one, Sharon.
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


Given By: soulpath
Critique Date:03/02/2009

Critique:Ouch! Fourth verse is too close too home at the moment for my liking- lol- An excellent piece, easy to read and cleverly keeps the musical theme throughout. Cleverly thought through.  Really like very much.  Mike
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


Given By: raenie
Critique Date:03/02/2009

Critique:I just knew the first couple of lines in your 4th stanza were too poetic to be left alone as a status update! (hehe I really wanted to read more of it, and here I am, my wish granted, reading your lovely work!!). In a word eloquent. This is such a wonderful dissection of  a duet (sorry my inner thesaurus has run away yet again, & totally goes against the melodic & sad but romantic tone of your write). What else can I say but you just have amazing talent Sharon. Loved the title, loved the reference to music --thanks for sharing with us your wonderful poem, Sharon :) can I give 5 stars??? hehe here it is ***** ;)
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


Given By: CountryAngel
Critique Date:03/01/2009

Critique:Another good poem Sharon. I'll just leave it at that! Diane
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


Given By: guinevere
Critique Date:03/01/2009

Critique:"Exquisitely tuned", exquisitely written. You have the ability to draw the reader into the heartbreak of the beautiful write, the meaning of which is abundantly clear. The poignancy of the last stanza brought tears to my eyes.
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


 
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