Long before my first out-of-body experience, I had been aware of a voice inside of me.  At age seven, I contracted Scarlet Fever.  That voice inside repeated over and over, "You are very ill and you're gonna die soon!"  In addition, I was painfully clogged up. You can add severe constipation to my symptoms of Scarlet Fever.[1] No wonder I was in agreement with my inner voice. My family was dirt-poor, as was common among single female-headed households in the 1940's. We lived in the ‘projects' in what others called a Ghetto. I didn't know it was a Ghetto. I thought life was good compared to many others I heard about. So there I lay, poor, Colored and dying, at the tender age of seven. I live today with almost all of the complications of severe, untreated Scarlet Fever.[2]

My mother allowed me to stay home from school. She knew I was sick - very, very sick! She knew that I hated missing school, and she had to believe her own eyes.  I looked horrible, like ‘Death eating soda crackers, riding a starved horse through the desert", as she would say later.  However, we had no insurance and no money, therefore, proper treatment was slow in being provided.  By the time I got into St. Vincent's Children's Hospital, into the charity ward, the illness had pretty much taken over. Severe fever was draining my decimated young body. I was immediately placed into the Intensive Care ward. By now, I was practically delirious. 

I slipped into a coma less than one hour after being admitted. At my last moment of consciousness I sensed my mother's warm hands caressing my shivering body.  I felt her hot tears on my cold face mingling with my own. I heard her voice penetrating the dark mist rapidly closing in around me, as she said, "Hold on baby, the doctor is on his way, everything will be O.K.! You're all I have in this world and my prayers will be answered". At that instant, the most amazing experience of my life began taking shape. 

My ‘inner voice' transmuted into a visible humanoid form, which was female in appearance. The form glided away from my body through the black mist hovering around me.  Almost immediately, a second form became visible to my minds' eye.  I watched that form, which appeared to be male, exit my body. There was a dialog going on between the two forms on the subject of "Life and Death". The female talked about ‘life' and the many opportunities that awaited me. All I had to do was to face this challenge, as well as every potential obstacle in life, with courage, determination and faith. If I did, I could win tonight and in life, no matter what! The male was adamant that I should yield to the debilitating sickness that was already draining my life force.  Besides, I was just a poor Black kid in the ghetto and as good as dead already, so why bother? The male form was saying that my future couldn't be of much value considering conditions in the world I lived in. They argued back and forth as they ascended to a corner near the ceiling where they had a clear view of everything going on in the room below.  I should say that we had a clear view, because I too, along with the two forms, ascended and observed the on-going proceedings.

I saw myself in that hospital bed, pale like a ghost, shivering, like I was on an iceberg, and at the same time perspiring as if I had been running in a marathon. I saw my mother nearly prostrate, crying and covering me to keep my body from freezing to death. In a few minutes two doctors came in followed by a tired-looking nurse. She pushed a shiny cart, loaded with strange-looking hospital stuff.  My mother was still crying as the tired-looking nurse sighed deeply and politely helped her into a chair away from my bedside. Mom dropped her head into one of those little laced-trimmed handkerchiefs she always kept in her purse. All the while her body stiffening as her sobbing intensified.  I watched all of this very intently, fascinated, while the medical team began working on me. I had never been in a hospital before and couldn't remember having ever had to see a doctor either.  Other than a cold, I had never been sick a day in my life, until now. Here I am, I was thinking, facing death, for which I am not ready.  Are we ever?

The dialog between the two voice-forms continued, each with diametrically opposed points of view about life and death. It was my life or my impending death that fueled their ‘debate'. Without being told I knew that I had to make a decision concerning my fate, or my future, right there and then, and my choice would last for all eternity. I felt that what I decided was more critical than what the doctors and nurse were doing. Believe me, they were frantically at work; taking my pulse, temperature and blood pressure, putting an oxygen mask over my face, sticking needles in me which I could not feel, massaging my hands and feet. Wow! I watched all this in absolute amazement as the voices, steadily becoming louder continued their debate. Finally, the male voice, speaking triumphantly said to the other, "You can leave now, he's mine!" To which the female form responded, "All life is precious and valuable. This battle is not lost as long as he fights." Did I choose eternal life, or instant death? Don't be silly! I'm here sharing what my "voices" said. Or, has my life continued as an out-of-body experience after all?

L. Michael Black

• [1] Sore throat, Fever, Vomiting, Rash on neck and chest; rough "sandpaper" feel to the skin
• Peeling (desquamation) of the finger tips, toes, and groin, Swollen, red tongue (strawberry tongue)
• Pastia's lines (bright red color in the creases of the underarm and groin)
• Chills
• Headache
• Generalized discomfort (malaise)
• Abdominal pain
• Muscle aches

• [2] Ear infection (otitis media)
• Adenitis or abscess
• Pneumonia
• Sinusitis
• Meningitis
• Bone or joint problems (osteomyelitis or arthritis)
• Liver damage (hepatitis)
• Kidney damage (glomerulonephritis)

by micael (Viewed 448 times)