CATEGORY: Horror Bookmark and Share



Creatures

Screams of agony filled the massive, empty grounds. He pressed his hands over his ears, squishing his eyes shut. Desperately wishing he could block out their pained cries. To make matters worse, the bell started ringing. Each time the bell rung, it felt like the entire world was shaking around him.


 


He could spot their crawling figures before him. Their pleads for salvation and redemption echoing throughout his head. Slow steps, almost as though he were a walking dead. He just could not bring himself to move any faster towards their screams and droning.


 


But yet, despite the fear growing in his abdomen, his feet continued to lead him forwards. The grounds grew darker, darkening to a pitch black. For some reason, he felt relieved. Yet at the same time, it caused the fear to grow.  He walked closer, and yet closer to whatever creatures was hidden in the dark. Dread seemed to spread itself to every vein in his body, yet he could not turn away.


 


The previously black ground was lightening to a grey. He could even see now, which thinking of his situation, wasn’t so good. If he could see his hand in front of him, chances were he would be able to see the creatures too.


 


There. He could see some movements just in front of him. The bells were ringing louder now. The terrible sounds of agony emitted from the creatures stronger than ever. His stomach gave a strong lurch.


 


He could see them now… Oh god, he could see them now.



by RulernAvOst

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Other Critiques of this Work
Given By: Bjorn
Critique Date:04/08/2010

Critique:Much like Dennis, I think this is a nice build-up! However, I'd like to see more, though. I think this could make an intriguing short story with a bit of tweaking. There were a few issues with syntax here, but overall I found this to be an entertaining piece. Keep working at it and try to lengthen it!

Grade:Average


Given By: Dennis
Critique Date:06/13/2009

Critique:A good start to a horror story, nice buildup to the enivitable creatures, you can continue this story only limited by your own imagination, the possibilities are endless. Thanks for sharing your work and welcome to OSWS.

Grade:Good


 
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