CATEGORY: Horror Bookmark and Share



Of Tunes and Words

The words and tunes escaped freely out of the boys’ mouth. His eyes were glazed, not really focusing on the environment around him.  The rain was pouring down from the cloudy sky, wetting his long, ragged hair, soaking his thin, torn clothes.


The small boy looked truly pathetic, sitting abandoned and alone on a large rock, far away from any human civilization in the cold, rainy evening; humming his tune and singing his words.


Autumn had stated now, and the leaves had turned red and orange and yellow. The chilly northern wind was playing with the fallen leaves on the ground.


But still he sat there, humming his tunes and singing his words. As if the meaningless, incoherent words actually meant anything, as if the words and tunes were magical. Perhaps that was one of the few things the tiny boy had left; his imagination and hope for a better future.


The days and nights flew by, and still he sat at the rock, never moving while humming his tunes and singing his words. How the boy managed to survive the cold weather and without food or water for so long, can only be explained by a miracle.


But eventually, in the middle of humming his tune and singing his words, the boy fell into a peaceful sleep.


Even now, if you’re venturing, if you were to find a huge rock in the middle of nowhere, far away from any city or settlements on a cold, rainy autumn eve, you can see that little boy sitting on that rock, still humming his tune and singing his words.



by RulernAvOst

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Other Critiques of this Work
Given By:[Deleted User]
Critique Date:06/22/2009

Critique:Hi there, I enjoyed your story very much, although it made me feel a little sad rather than chilled. I liked how you set the scene and then ended with the humming and singing going on for eternity. Just a couple of observations - the apostrophe should be before the 's' in boy's mouth. 'Autumn had stated now' - I'm guessing should be 'started'. 'The days and nights flew by' seems to contradict with the following sentence of how he managed to survive for so long. I would have thought you would want those days and nights to seem like a long time as opposed to flying by. In the last paragraph 'if you're venturing' is superfluous. Perhaps 'Even now, if you were to find that huge rock in the middle of nowhere.....' Hope these suggestions help. Thanks for sharing & good luck in the contest.

Grade:Good


Given By: Dennis
Critique Date:06/13/2009

Critique:A nice little tale, sought of a mystery. You write well and very coherent regarding the English language. My parents were from Norway too and settled in New York City. At times I could feel my Viking heritage growing up in the streets of Brooklyn. Thanks for sharing.    

Grade:Good


 
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