Temptation - Free Verse : One-Stop Write Shop

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Temptation

Would I be so bold as to give in?

Or would I be so brave as to not?

It may be wise to just flip a coin,

let fate decide…

Or not.

Dark and glorious, bittersweet

       chocolate will be the death of me

by raenie (Viewed 593 times)

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Other Critiques of this Work

Given By:	[Deleted User]
Critique Date:	07/03/2009

Critique:	Hi Nikko, I'm assuming from your last line that you usually opt for the former ;) but how could you not give in to temptation when you make such delicious looking chocolates? And you do have to thoroughly test them out for taste, texture, meltability, how easily it sucks off your fingers etc. You show us a real should I/shouldn't I moment here & I enjoyed the humour in the middle three lines. I was wondering, as you have a question mark in line one, whether you should also have one in line two. Also, was it a deliberate choice to have the last line in a smaller font size? Only you could think of chocolate from the words 'bold' and 'brave', thanks for making me smile with this one.
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Given By:	CountryAngel
Critique Date:	07/01/2009

Critique:	Hee, hee, when I started to read this I thought about something else. Glad it was about chocolate... Cute write.
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