Lilac Times - Kyrielle : One-Stop Write Shop

CATEGORY: Kyrielle

Lilac Times

Lilac Times

Warm summer sun and dappled shade,

long, ice-cold drinks of lemonade,

relax your head upon my knee

... lie with me 'neath the lilac tree.

Rich fragrances suffuse the air,

light breezes sift through tousled hair

'midst music from the honey bee

... lie with me 'neath the lilac tree.

Exquisite touch of fingertips

young innocence joins satin lips,

just let your heart's desire run free

... lie with me 'neath the lilac tree.

Too soon we'll see that youth can't last,

such times as these will be our past,

but when from life our souls must flee

... lie with me 'neath the lilac tree.

by bluemoon (Viewed 379 times)

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Other Critiques of this Work

Given By:	raenie
Critique Date:	07/20/2009

Critique:	I can always count to learn something new from you Sharon, and in such a beautiful and inspiring manner, too! Now wouldn't that be lovely if school subjects were taught this way? Hehe, I had to search for kyrielle since I had no clue what it was, though I did notice the repetition of the last line :) This is just so eloquently written as always and I agree with Ninna that a painting would go so well with this--I can really imagine a book of yours complemented with beautiful paintings & drawings--your poem has this melodic quality to it & actually isn't very hard to imagine, just enjoying the time under that lilac tree (though we don't have lilac trees here--hehe could I risk sitting under a coconut tree instead & cross my fingers the coconuts won't drop on my head!! hehe I suppose it would be hard to relax with that in mind!) oops I'm veering away from your poem, sorry---I loved the entire poem, but if I had to choose a favorite stanza, it would be the last one--it has such a nostalgic feel to it and I love the sentiment it gives that even if youthfulness and life don't last--there are still things that do...thanks for writing this wistful yet very beautiful write--enjoy your day under that lilac tree :)
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Given By:	kuirq
Critique Date:	07/19/2009

Critique:	This is such a lovely piece, it's beautiful how you give one particular thing of beauty (I admit I just googled it to see how it looks, it's beautiful) more bloom, having been a witness to such a love. I love how up until the end, the lilac tree will hold as much significance as it did in days of youth. Also, it's not hard to imagine this being accompanied by a watercolor painting or a pastel drawing, soft hues to compliment the lovely words. I really like the repetition, it's very effective in expressing the sentiments of how that lilac tree played a special role in a couple's lives. Thanks for sharing this, Sharon, it also made me think of the olden days, how people spend so much time outdoors, and just be with nature to share something natural as love. I wonder, thirty years from now, if someone will write a poem like this, what it is that they'll spend the time under? A satellite dish? or perhaps a faux tree? :)
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Given By:	CountryAngel
Critique Date:	07/18/2009

Critique:	All happens beneath the Liac tree. Wish I had one..Nice write Sharon..
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