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A Civil End

Footsteps marking steadied time


Men lined up in a row


We sing a song of strength and will


Our steps left in the snow


 


My mind holds back my Lover's face


What Fates I'm doomed to meet


The only thoughts that sieze my mind


Are shoes to warm my feet


 


We hear the shouts and gunshots ring


Both sides run through the mud


And as the sun is sinking down


It turns the hue of blood


 


Brothers fought against their own


Blues and Greys collide


And Fear held me in his embrace


As he would hold his bride


 


I fire once and watch to see


Where my bullet might fly


I watched it bite a boy my age


I watched him slowly die


 


I dropped my gun in guilt and fear


My vision blurred in tears


If Death should choose to take me soon


I beg him take me here


 


A shot rang out and all goes still


It slowly stops my breath


A Calm that I have never known


Flows on the tide of Death


 


And may the Angels gather me


As fast as sparrows fly


To where the hate can't touch me


As it did the day I died



by Apparition (Viewed 469 times)

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Other Critiques of this Work
Given By: raenie
Critique Date:08/08/2009

Critique:I surely agree with you teacher, Mariah! Wow, I'm clapping along with her, I felt some goosebumps as I read this, especially the part where the boy got killed--this is really moving and I liked how your poem flowed, reading it aloud makes it more powerful--great work you've done here, do post more of your writes ok? Just a quick not though, maybe you could insert some commas in some of the lines to help with the flow? Just a thought...nonetheless a powerful write indeed! Thanks for sharing this one...:)

Grade:Excellent


 
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