| CATEGORY: Free Verse |
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Moon whispers back
Step out from the shadows, step out
bravely bask in my borrowed light,
fill the night air with your hope
Sweetly sing to me your wishes of love,
of ill-fated hearts to find their soulmates,
alive from the abyss of despair...
and I'll tell you all is not lost
...Courageous, faithful soul
by raenie (Viewed 424 times)  Show Brief Description
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| Other Critiques of this Work |
| Given By: |   nyamande 
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| Critique Date: | 07/16/2010 |
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| Critique: | This is classic. A true Master-piece. The type of piece you want to share and remember for eternity. |
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| Grade: |  |
| Given By: |   bluemoon
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| Critique Date: | 09/18/2009 |
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| Critique: | Hi Nikko, I have to say I love the moon's response to your 'whispered wishes.' I like how you follow the same format for both poems, they compliment each other perfectly. Like its counterpart, this poem also has a beautiful, wistful quality, and I like the use of alliteration throughout. Just one suggestion - in the penultimate line use 'all is' rather than the contraction - it flows better when read aloud. Another beautiful poem, thanks for sharing. [sorry just had to edit, my typos were haunting me ;) ] |
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| Grade: | |
| Given By: |  acolyte
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| Critique Date: | 09/18/2009 |
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| Critique: | My favourite line is "bravely bask in my borrowed light". I agree that "All is" in the second last line would flow better off the tongue.
This is my first review, please exuse my brevity!
Thanks |
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| Grade: | |
| Given By: | Katina
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| Critique Date: | 08/31/2009 |
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| Critique: | Beautiful use of language and flow. I also took note of the punctuation, since there was no periods used in the poem, it worked. Sometimes, I read poetry that uses some punctuation in some areas, and not in other areas. If there is a pattern, it generally works. With this particular piece, the absence of a period seems to represent a fleeting image, or thought. Good job! |
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| Grade: | |
| Given By: |  CountryAngel
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| Critique Date: | 08/27/2009 |
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| Critique: | " Sweetly sing to me your wishes of love. "
That's my favorite line, although I liked the whole writing.
Peaceful , love, wishes.
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| Grade: | |
| Given By: | Dennis
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| Critique Date: | 08/25/2009 |
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| Critique: | A very romantic theme with a twist, love in the moon's point of view, trying to figure the complexities of human nature and its relationship to the moon. I always enjoy a write that promotes hope, we would be a sad lot without it. The imagery was soft and touching, almost like there is a greater sence of understanding out there and all we have to do is find it in our hearts. A very well written piece of poetry, thanks for sharing. |
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| Grade: | |
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