| CATEGORY: Triolet |
|
WildFire (Triolet)
WildFire
Through charcoal trees the wind does cry,
as acrid clouds eclipse the sun.
From tongue of licking flame, ghosts fly
through charcoal trees. The wind does cry.
"A heedless light, of passers-by,
brings hell to burn God's earth undone,"
through charcoal trees, the wind does cry,
as acrid clouds eclipse the sun.
Notes: a Triolet is an eight lined, one stanza poem, usually written in iambic tetrameter. The rhyme scheme is ABaAabAB, where lines 1,4 and 7 are the same, as are lines 2 and 8. Notice that even though the words are identical, the meaning may be changed by use of punctuation.
by bluemoon (Viewed 221 times)
| You must log-on in order to critique and grade any writings. Login here. |
| Other Critiques of this Work |
| Given By: |   Katina 
|
| Critique Date: | 10/06/2009 |
|
| Critique: | Remarkable example of a triolet! I'll post some of mine at a later date, most of my metrical verse sounds forced. I think that free verse and lyric poetry is more my forte, however, when you learn about different forms, you really broaden your poetry resume. It is like learning how to drive an automatic and a standard. I don't know how to drive a standard, hmm, time to learn. Thanks Sharon. I'm sort of working my way up from the very bottom of the 100 most recent reviews. LOL. I don't do anything in the right order.
---------------------------------
I almost forgot to mention what I enjoyed about the poem. Favorite Line: "as acrid clouds eclipse the sun. " Exceptional word choices! Superb! I also loved the title, well done! |
| [View Replies] |
|
| Grade: |  |
| Given By: |   Paladin elda
|
| Critique Date: | 09/07/2009 |
|
| Critique: | Hi Sharon, I am one that daes not write in form, I write free verse. I prefer free verse because it is less confining. As you know free form has no structure per say, and poetic form does. This is one reason I don\'t try to write in form, because I don\'t understand the structure. You remarked something to the effect your poem \"ABaAabAB\" to me this is may as well be Chineese. how does and what does that mean.........joe |
| [View Replies] |
|
| Grade: | |
| Given By: |  raenie
|
| Critique Date: | 09/04/2009 |
|
| Critique: | Hello Sharon :) Yet another wonderful lesson through demonstration--really love what you're doing here--not only allowing yourself to explore new forms of poetry, but sharing the knowledge as well--thank you for doing this! It has really been very educational & so generous of you...What can I say but I really like the concept of the "triolet"--amazing really of how punctuations, placed differently could alter the meaning of a line--and I loved the imagery that you used here, one could really picture those wildfires in one's mind... and can I say very much timely as well--would this be in reference to the CA fires? Praying that all will be well soon over there--thanks again for sharing this and looking forward to reading other forms (& learning too!) :D |
| [View Replies] |
|
| Grade: | |
| Given By: | kuirq
|
| Critique Date: | 09/04/2009 |
|
| Critique: | A very vivid piece that brings me to the scene of a wildfire. I love
the repetition of lines, and how there's a slight change in meaning due
to the difference in punctuation. It's a tragic poem, but it's
beautiful as well, because it's rich in imagery..."charcoal trees"
brings a pretty powerful image to me ...somehow, makes me think
they're still standing, not burnt to ashes and so maybe there's the
slight chance the roots are still alive, ready to get nourishment and
bring forth new life in the future. It's amazing how even if it's just
short, it makes me think of what had been, what is, and what could be.
Thanks for sharing this piece, Sharon. It makes me think as well of the
tragic fires in California and at the same time, it made me learn
another new style in poetry. It's pretty interesting...I tend to
include repetition in some of my writes, but just when I feel like it,
so I think it will be a challenge to have the repetition set in
specific lines. Hmm, I wonder when I'll try out one of these styles? |
| [View Replies] |
|
| Grade: | |
|
View Portfolio
View Public Profile
View Blog
Send Private Message
Send IM via Yahoo
Send IM via MSN