Even Soldiers are Meant to Keep Their Promises

 

“Danny?”

“Yeah, honey?”

“Don’t die.”

“I’ll never leave you. I promise.”

                                                                                                1

The sun seeped through the open lace curtains that framed the window prettily. Everything was silent in the apartment. In the bedroom a young man slept, a smile gracing his features as he dreamed of unknown things. He snuggled deeper under the bedclothes, his arm moved out to wrap around his lovers waist, only to fall upon an empty space. The lack of a presence shocked him out of sleep and he opened his eyes blearily. The right side of the bed was still made; no impression was made in the covers. He never would have thought that the sight of a half made bed could kill him so much inside. Closing his eyes tightly and throwing himself harshly on his pillow he fought back the tears that had been threatening him for the past three days. His long blonde hair descended over his face, turning it a golden color as it hit the light. Since he was eighteen he had never had a half empty bed. So used to it was he, to turn over in the mornings to see his lovers face. But now he was alone, nobody to turn over to and it hurt. It hurt him a lot. Despite his precautions against them, two tiny tear shaped drops of water fell from his eyes. He wanted things to be like they use to be, he wanted to change things so badly and yet he knew he had no power over the matter. A broken sob escaped from his mouth and he curled away into his memories, while the pain crushed into him.

                                                                                                2

                Nobody knew that they were gay. How could they tell anyone? What with Danny’s dream and all, it would be difficult to keep quiet. Jack always wanted people to know though; he felt it was wrong to keep something that important from their families and friends. He continually feels awkward when people come over, having to act like him and Danny were just friends.  He never told Danny, but it always made him feel horrible to have to do that, like he was being demoted from his position. But he tried to look over it; he was supposed to be doing this for Danny after all. Sometimes when Jack and Danny get into a particularly dreadful fight Jack wanted to scream at Danny for causing them this hardship. If it wasn’t for his stupid little dream they wouldn’t have to be a secret, they wouldn’t have to be “just friends”. Jack hated that dream, Danny’s vision of the future. Every time Danny mentioned it in Jack’s presence, Jack’s lips would tighten, his fists would ball up and he would spent the rest of his evening counting backwards from ten. The army. Danny wanted to join the army. That was the dream, the vision, but where did his loving boyfriend come into this rather morbid daydream? That’s right, he didn’t. Jack was an unexpected addition to the whole idea, and as Danny never failed to remind him, he had been utterly straight before Jack. Jack always responded outwardly with a disbelieving snort and a rolling of his eyes, but inwardly he couldn’t help but wondered if Danny’s words were admiring or accusing.

                                                                                               

 

                                                                                                3

                When he finally found enough inner strength to get out of bed it was nearly noon. Walking slowly, letting the blood flow back to his legs, he staggered into the bathroom; he stopped in front of the mirror above the sink. He could hardly recognize himself. It surprised him what three days without more than two hours of sleep could do to a person. The circles that darkened the hollows under his eyes were deep and ugly looking, marring his alabaster skin horribly. His hair fell limp and greasy front of his face, turning a dark yellow in its dirtiness. He absently rubbed his nose, which was red from constantly wiping it with tissues, and winced as pain flared up. He wondered why it was that without Danny by his side he completely fell apart. Watching himself a moment longer he moved over to the shower and turned the dial so the water was the hottest it would go and he slowly stripped from his pajama pants, vaguely observing that it was as if he was not himself. He felt disconnected to his body. Perhaps he was having an out of body experience. When steam billowed out of the shower he stepped in and closed the shower curtain behind him. He thought that maybe today could a better day. He kept that positive view until he accidentally used Danny’s shampoo, the entire bathroom quickly filling with the smell of him. He looked at the showerhead exiling the burning water that flushed his skin and he seriously considered drowning himself in it.

                Over the past three days meals were almost an inexistent affair, so when his stomach rumbled loudly as he stepped out of the shower it didn’t come as a surprise to him. “Just shut up, would you?” He muttered grumpily at it as he ripped a brush through is unnaturally tangled hair. Hair and body still dripping with water, he walked into the bedroom. Shaking the hair from his eyes, he opened the last drawer on the dresser and took out a pair of boxers. Blocking all the memories of Danny laughing sweetly at the insane placement of his undergarments, he pulled the boxers over his boney hips and trudged into the kitchen. Unceremoniously pouring himself a large bowl of cereal, he sat down at the tiny table made for two and began to eat. He hated the way every item in the house, from the kitchen chairs to the smallest of the spoons, reminded him of Danny and yet he found that he loved it as well. As he spooned the cereal into his mouth he stared at the chair placed across the table from him. Their last meal at this table had not been an altogether good one. It was his fault of course; he had started things when his mouth should have stayed shut. But, Jack thought bitterly, it’s not as if I was out of bounds was it? He nodded to himself absentmindedly and began playing with his food, having suddenly lost his appetite.

                                                                                                4

                Jack avoided his gaze from across the small table. Keeping his eyes down, he played with his food morosely. The silence seemed palpable; he had never felt so awkward in Danny’s presence before in his life. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Jack just shook his head refusing to look up, moving his steamed carrots around on his plate with his fork. Danny moved his larger hand over his and Jack forced his eyes up to meet his boyfriends. Light blue met Dark brown and the awkwardness lessened slightly. “What’s wrong, Jack?” Danny asked him again. He hesitated before responding. He knew that if he didn’t think his words out before he said them, he would say something he would regret. “I… I hate that this is the last time I’m going to see you for a long time.” He said finally, weighing the words on his tongue and feeling as if he hadn’t said everything that he had wanted, but was grateful that they weren’t fighting yet. Danny nodded, pain flashing so quickly across his eyes that Jack could have sworn that he had imagined it. “I know,” Danny said gruffly, “But it’s got to be done.” Anger welled up deep inside of him and erupted like a volcano. “WHY?” he shouted, standing up quickly, knocking his chair back. “WHY DO YOU HAVE TO GO? WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE DONE?” Danny stood up calmly and walked over to me. “Because it’s just something I know have to do Jack, like how you know you have to make a career out of painting. I just, I dunno, I just have to.” Jack leaned toward him face contorting evilly and smacked him hard in the face. “My dream won’t get me killed, my dream won’t make stop me from seeing my loved ones for six months at a time, and my dream doesn’t keep me and my boyfriend so deep in the closet we’re practically in Narnia!” Jacked hissed, eyes flashing with rage, he watched breathing deeply as Danny touched the place where he had hit. Danny’s face played out a collection of emotions, ranging from shock to depression. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, looking into Jacks eyes. “I’m so sorry.” He turned from Jack and walked out of the room, closing the door softly behind him. Jack gaze fixed on the spot where Danny had last stood. He knew he had just managed to screw up the last night he would have with his boyfriend in a long while. He felt utterly ashamed of himself. He couldn’t believe what he had said, tears escaped from the corners of his eyes and he breathed in short gasps. He slowly crumpled on the floor, where he put his face in his hands and began to weep. When he felt less disgusted with himself he grabbed the edge of the table and lifted himself up. Slowly walking to the bedroom he tried to think of something he could say that would make things better. He could think of none. Walking into the bedroom, his eyes immediately found Danny sitting on their bed with his back to Jack. He looked as if he had been crying as well, which made Jack feel even worse as he moved to the middle of the room. “Danny?” He asked in a whisper, barely trusting his voice not to crack as more tears made their fall. “Yeah, honey?” Danny whispered back, voice hoarse and ruff. He took a deep breath, willing his next words to come out evenly. “Don’t die,” Jack whimpered as his voice finally managing to crack and quiver, “Please don’t leave me.” Danny finally looked up, a horrified expression plastered across his face. He stood up and walked over to where Jack was standing, grabbing Jack’s upper arms gently. “I’ll never leave you, I promise,” Jack looked doubtful and Danny hugged him. “Even soldiers can keep promises, Jack.” His voice was as soft as his dark eyes and Jack could feel him shake faintly. “I love you, so much Jack.” He leaned his forehead against Jack’s and together they stood there, eyes closed and their tears mixing together. In the dark of their bedroom they repeated assurances of their love for each other, so scared of the fact that that might have been the last time they could ever say it to each other again.

                                                                                                5

                Tiny plopping sounds filled the kitchen, Jack look down and was mildly surprised to see tears falling into the half empty bowl of cereal. Food would no longer be an option for the day, not with thoughts of Danny running through his mind. Standing weakly, he grabbed the bowl and walked across yellow and white tiles as he made his way to the sink. Washing the dish slowly, he looked out the window, distractedly, eyes glazed over. He shook his head roughly as if to clear it and left the room. When he made it to the living room, he couldn’t recall how he had gotten there. The space of time it took him to get from one room to another was lost on him. His unclear gaze moved along the built in book shelves on the far wall, seeing a book that he recognized, he ambled over and moved it from its resting place. Everyday tasks seemed harder to do, with his newly numbed brain. He fell down onto the couch and stared at the words in the book, blankly. The words might as well have been in a foreign language, after reading the same passage for the third time he gave up, set the book down on the hardwood floor beneath his feet and closed his eyes. This time he didn’t even try to block his thoughts, he let the memories rain over him in torrents. He found it amazing the only thing that changed when Danny left was himself; everything else went by on its daily schedule as if nothing was wrong. The sun was still shining and the birds were still singing life was normal and never altering. But Jack knew that he would never be the same again until Danny came home to him.

                                                                                                6

                Jack knew that he had changed as soon as he met Danny. They had met, during Jack’s junior year, after he was the product of a rather brutal hate crime. Three seniors, who had been placed on a golden pedestal for being the star football players, had penned Jack, by the neck, against the wall in the boy’s locker room. He was no match for them by himself; he knew they probably benched his body weight everyday at football practice and his muscles were tired and weak from the volleyball they had played in his Physical Education class. He found himself thrown against the tiled walls, as he had strode away from the showers, only thinking of the uncomfortably loose towel hanging low on his hipbones.  “Hi Jackie,” A voice snarled into his ear. “What a coincidence that we should find you here. Me and the boy’s were just looking for you, weren’t we you guys?” A couple cavemen like grunts responded almost at once. Jack glared and growled deep in his throat. “Let me go Billy.” The three boys standing around him laughed in a recurring chorus of deep grumbles. “He said that he wants us to let him go!” Billy said momentarily turning from Jack to face his friends, still holding him tightly by the neck. “Eh, don’t worry Jackie boy, we’ll let you go in a little while. We just want to clear up a few things first, isn’t that right?” More grunts came from behind Billy and Jack supposed that was just their way of confirming things. Billy flicked a wave of ginger hair out of his eyes, as he through a tightlipped smile at Jack. “So do you want to know what just came to our attention, Jackie boy?” Jack crossed his arms in front of his bare chest and narrowed his eyes, mouth kept firmly shut. Not seeming to care of the lack of repose he received he carried on as if he had never asked Jack anything. “We heard today from very reliable resources that you have been hiding something from us all.” At this Billy’s green eyes met his in a mock pout. “And here I was thinking we were friends.” Jacks arms fell limp to his sides and his mouth opened in disbelief. “Billy, I don’t recall you and me ever being friends.” Jack said, in a tone one usually used for those who were exceedingly dumb. Billy smiled again, this time showing much more teeth than before. Jack wished he had room to back away from the red-haired creature standing before him, in a predator’s stance. Billy leaned forward so his breath brushed lightly against the side of Jacks face. “You see there Jackie boy, that is where you’re wrong. By the time we’re done here, I think we’ll know each other pretty well, don’t you?” Jack shivered, leaning as far into the wall as he could. Billy stepped back looking satisfied and turned towards the other two boys. “Now boy’s why don’t you tell Jackie here what we heard about him.” The faces of the two boys behind Billy spread into almost identical smirks. “Oh you mean how he’s a dwirty, rotten, f-“Billy turned quickly, his glare easily stopping the boy from talking. “I meant why don’t you tell him nicely what we heard, Tony.” Billy hissed, eyes looking purely malevolent in their brightness. The other boy, Tony, turned to him once more a faint blush covering his dark cheeks. “We’z heard you’re gay.” He said his upper lip curling slightly in disgust. Jack stared back at him, eyebrows lifted, smiling dimly. “Yeah? And what’s it to you guys?” Tony snorted, “Gay boy, it’z a lot to us, you get me? We don’t think it looks good on us to have a homo on our turf without us taking care of it, see?” Jack nodded slowly, looking nonplussed. “So what? You’re going to…beat me up?” Tony and the other boy both shook their heads. “We here cause the boss told us to be here, man. What happens to you ain’t up to us it be up to him.” Tony pointed a thick finger at Billy when he referred to “the boss” and Jack thought it was amazing that he had so much power. Billy smiled, widely at him and Jack couldn’t help but think that Tony telling him he was in Billy’s hands was not a very big comfort. “So we’ll be back by da courts, kay boss?” Tony asked turning from Jack to Billy and back again. Billy nodded and waved the two boys off. “So, Jackie boy,” Billy said turning back towards him. “Is it true? You’re gay?” Jack shrugged looking away from Billy, pretending to have taken a large interest in the locker right behind Billy’s head. “You do.” Billy said smirking, it wasn’t a question. Billy knew just as well as Jack did and there was no use hiding it. Jack looked down at his feet and gave out a silent sigh in defect, wishing Billy would just beat the crap out of him so he could go home. “Well, we have to do something about this don’t you think?” Jack looked up, startled by the question. “What do you mean?” He asked slowly, head tilting in confusion. He flinched back when he felt Billy grab his wrist. “Oh you know…” Billy trailed off. Jack shook his head shortly, he did not know. Billy rolled his acid green eyes and placed Jack hand firmly against his crotch. Jack squeaked, in quite an unmanly fashion and jumped back, nose scrunched up. “What do you think you’re doing? Get the heck off of me!” He pulled and tugged on his arm trying to rip it out of the other boy’s grasp. “Please don’t pretend you don’t want it,” Billy said with superior look self-righteousness on his face. “Everyone does, so it would only make sense that you did too.” Jack’s laugh sounded rather strangled to himself as he said, “Don’t flatter yourself. Guess what, you know that fame that you’ve seem to have developed for yourself around here? It doesn’t matter to me; you are a nobody to me.” His words seemed to have hit a nerve and he smiled as he watched blood rush to Billy’s cheeks. “Get on your knees, before I make you.” Billy growled out to Jack, who just smiled at him cutely. “I’m sorry, my mother told me never to put small things in my mouth.” Jack had only seconds to duck as Billy’s fist flew through the air toward his face. He heard the sound of knuckle smacking against tile and Billy yelped like a wounded dog. Jack decided that it was now or never and he ran full tilt past the injured boy and into the changing room. A large bundle of dirty towels lay on the floor and Jack tripped over them landing on his back. This is it, he thought to himself as he heard Billy stomp his way into the changing room behind him. Whimpering softly, Jack closed his eyes and waited for the blows to fall. But the blows never came; his inner clock was tolling out the seconds that passed in near silence. He cracked one eye opened and saw that he and Billy were not alone. A tall, dark boy was sitting on one of the benches watching them, head tilted to the side in a quiet concentration. The boy’s eyes were as dark as night and Jack noticed that they were trained on Billy. Billy cracked his knuckles, nervously, eyes unsure of the situation. He turned to look at Jack as though debating whether or not he was worth taking in front of this unknown stranger. “I think it’s time you go.” The boy on the bench said, eyes still on Billy. His voice held no hostility, but he said it with a power that was almost undeniable. Billy shook his head “Who do you think you are telling me to leave? I practically own this place. How about you go and I stay and take care of him.” With that he stabbed a finger in the air at Jack. The dark boy stood up and even though he was sporting a baggy sweatshirt, the amount of strength the boy held was clear as glass. Billy’s eyes widened slowly as the boy came closer to him, he towered over Billy by at least five inches. “I really think you should go now.” The boy said crossing his arms loosely over his chest. Billy shook his head again and the boy watched him unblinkingly. Billy opened his mouth as if to say something else, thought better of it, and turned towards the door never looking back at Jack. The boy watched the door for awhile longer as if he expected Billy to try and snatch the Jack, while his back was turned. “Are you okay?” The boy turned from the door, staring intently at Jacks face, searching for something. Jack sat up, from where he was lying on his back, wincing at the strike of pain that zipped around his lower back. The boy stepped forward and held out his hand and Jack grabbed it, letting the boy hoist him up. “My back hurts a little, but I’ll be alright I think.” Jack replied, rubbing the sore spot lightly with his left hand, holding the towel together with the right. The dark boy nodded, still staring into his eyes, he glanced down quickly and muttered an exclamation. Jack watched faintly startled by the boys cry, as he walked towards one of the lockers in the far corner. The boy came back to jack a moment later holding a pair of boxers and a t-shirt in his hands. “Here you can wear these, I don’t know what that guy did with the clothes you had, but they aren’t here now.”  Jack smiled and thanked the boy, awkwardly putting the boxers on, while still holding the towel up. The boy turned his back to give Jack some privacy, which Jack was extremely grateful for and by the time he turned back to face him Jack was almost fully covered. “I wanted to thank you for earlier, I have no idea what would have happened if you hadn’t been there.” They both knew exactly what would have happened, but neither acknowledged it. “Don’t worry about it. Just glad I helped, you know?” The boy smiled brightly at Jack and his heart flipped in his chest. Holding out his hand he returned the smile cheerfully. “I’m Jack.” The other boy grasped his hand firmly in his, eyes attentively meeting his. “My name’s Danny.”

                                                                                                7

Four months. He only lasted four mouths on the field. A letter was delivered to his parents telling them exactly had happened, it explained how his death had occurred and while reading it Danny’s parents could only imagine the pain that their son was in the last few moments of his life. The letter had been thrown on the table as Danny’s Mother ran to the sink bringing up the breakfast that she had eaten two hours before. His Father stood behind her, face taunt, holding his wife’s hair back in hands that were white and shaking. The letter stayed on the table, crumpled and tear-stained, for three days before his Father got tired of seeing it and threw it away. Later that day, while her husband was in his office, Danny’s mother had taken the latter out of the trash, picking it up with two fingers; she sat with it at the kitchen table. Once, twice, three times she reread the letter, eyes dulled with grief. Picking up the pieced of paper lying next to her right hand she begin to write. She wrote until her hand ached and burned with over use, only stopping now and then to wipe her watery eyes with her shirt sleeve. Reaching the bottom of the page she looked over everything that she had put down, noticing at once that the ink had blurred in some places where her tears had fallen onto the paper. Still she deemed her words readable and pushed both of the letters into an envelope and sealed it swiftly. She hurried to the mailbox at the end of the driveway, pushing the red flag up so the mailman would know that there was something needing to be sent. She turned her back to the street and wiping her eyes once more, she hoped that the arrival of the letter wouldn’t cause too much harm.

                It was two days later that she opened the door to four boys, who were about Danny’s age, in military uniforms holding a bulging American flag and another letter. This one told her that what was left of her son’s body had been delivered to the morgue in town and that her son’s personal possessions that he had taken overseas with him had been placed in the flag that Danny had kept folded under his pillow. With shaking hands she took the flag from the men, thanking them quietly, avoiding the pitying stares that they were throwing at her. Closing the door with a soft click she brought the bundle to the table and unfolded it, ignoring the stains that covered the stripes of the flag, the stains that she knew was her dead son’s blood. The items in the flag ranged from the clothes that he took to a worn out looking tooth brush. She took each object out carefully laid it out on the table. Her finger tips touched the slick surface of what she thought was a picture, her hand grasped it and lifted up to her face. The picture was frayed and tattered and she imagined her son thought this was his most valuable possession. Every suspicion that she had had was confirmed as she looked at the picture. The picture showed a younger version of her son and his friend Jack, Danny had his arm around Jack and Jack was resting his head was on Danny’s shoulder. They were looking into each others eyes and smiling lovingly. On the back of the picture was a caption written in Danny’s untidy scrawl, the caption read: The night that Jack said yes- November 16, 2006. Her face fell and she slumped in her chair and began to sob loudly. The injustice of the world was clear to her in the that moment, how God could have let Danny die when he had so much waiting for him back here? Her had was a blur it was shaking so hard, she laid the picture down with everything else and she looked at it a bit longer, then reached in the package again. Her hands grabbed a collection of paper, she went through them slowly, knowing it was wrong to read Danny’s letters but she couldn’t help herself. She saw a few that were from her and a couple of them were from people she knew were Danny’s friends from school, but the majority were from Jack. Anguish tore her open as skimmed the pages, what will Jack do without Danny, she wondered. She stood up on trembling legs and decided then that Jack needed these things more than she. She put everything back into the flag and folded it back the way it was, laying another letter down on top. Later she would have her husband take a box up to the post office. She knew he would be confused as to what was in the box, but she felt it was better if he didn’t know that Danny’s things had been sent home. She knew that her husband would want to keep the items, but she knew of someone that would make better use of it.

                                                                                                8

They were lying in Jack’s backyard, their hands propping their heads up as they watched the fireflies blinking around them. “What are you going to do after you get out of school?” Danny asked turning towards him in the gloom, and Jack watched as the older boy took a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. He and Danny had gotten rather close after the incident, five months ago, in the locker room and they got together almost every day, going to each others houses after school. Jack shrugged, “I don’t really know, probably work on my paintings, I guess,” Danny nodded looking away, taking a poof of his cigarette. “What about you? Where what are you going to do?” Jack asked, pulling the cigarette out from between Danny’s fingers, so he could have a drag of it. Danny raised his eyebrows in amusement as Jack inhaled the smoke. “I think I’ll join the army. I don’t think I’ll join until I’m twenty though, I want to get some college in before I leave.” Jack shot a look at Danny before inhaling again, passing the cigarette back to Danny. “What was the look for?” Danny asked, confused. “What look?” Jack said, pulling up the grass underneath his hands. Danny stayed silent, watching Jack as he threw the hand full of grass. Jack turned so he was facing Danny, eyes narrowed. “Tell me why you want to join.” Jack received a look of surprise from Danny. “Because I want to help, I want to be part of what’s happening.” Jack moved away from him resting his head on his knees as watching the bugs zoom around his head. As a pacifist he never understood the appeal of the army, never understood why some people wanted to be involved in a bloodbath, but he knew better than to question it openly. Jack was a little disappointed in Danny; he had thought that Danny was different, more like him. It was surprising to him that Danny wanted to join, he never talked about the army before, he had always seemed against violence of any sort, but maybe Jack didn’t know him as well as he thought. Jack felt Danny’s eyes on him as he stared at the ground in front of him. He moved so his hair created a barrier around his face. Danny took another drag, blowing the smoke out in rings. He wondered what was wrong with Jack; shaking his head he knew that he would never be able to understand him. It had something to do with what he had said about the army, he knew that much, but he didn’t get why it affected the boy that much. He watched Jack out of the corner of his eye and the other boy draped his hair in front of his face to block Danny’s view. He’s beautiful, Danny thought, moving his gaze away from Jack. Danny was surprised when he started to think about Jack that way and slowly he got use to it, believing that there wouldn’t ever be any consequences to his thoughts as Jack would never agree to a relationship with him anyways, so he could think what he wanted. Getting tired of the silence Danny began singing an old Bob Marley song softly, his foot tapping out the beat. "Don't worry about a thing, ‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right.” Danny sang slightly louder and he saw Jack look up through his curtain of hair. Danny smiled at him, “Three little birds, pitch by my doorstep, singin' sweet songs, of melodies pure and true.” He saw Jack smile softly back at him and his heart leaped happily. Danny sang the entire song, because he knew Jack wanted him to and he wanted to make Jack happy, so he did. When he was done Jack clapped slowly, leering up at him. “When did you learn to sing like that?” He asked Danny, softly. Danny shrugged, “Guess it’s just another talent that I was born amazing at.” He replied, smirking. Jack laughed, shaking his head. “You know,” Danny went on, “I’ve always thought that was a cool name, Marley.” Jack yawned and turned towards him again, “You’ll end up naming your first born that.” He told Danny. “Nah, I doubt it,” Danny replied, thinking that firstborn’s were probably out of the question now that he was having feeling for another man, “I don’t think I’ll be having children.” “Why?” Jack asked, tilting his head slightly, making Danny smile at his cuteness. “You don’t want to know, trust me.” Danny laid down, as Jack looked at him, eyes searching. “I think I do, though,” Jack said quietly, “Come on, you can tell me.” Danny sat up on his elbows, his skin looking ever darker in the nights light. “You really want to know?” Danny asked, feeling a rush of adrenaline fuelled courage race through his body. At Jack hurried nod, Danny grabbed the back of his neck gently and their mouths met in agonizing bliss. Danny broke the kiss and smiled softly at Jack’s stunned expression. “That’s why.” Danny whispered, letting go of Jack’s neck, as he laid back down. He closed his eyes tightly, waiting for Jack to tell him to leave, to get out of his life. But instead he felt a hand entwine with his and a kiss was pressed to his cheek softly. Danny opened his eyes and then Jack was laying next to him head resting on his shoulder. “What now?” Asked Jack, moving to see Danny’s eyes, he couldn’t believe that Danny had just kissed him. He was dazed and he couldn’t remember feeling so happy about on little thing. He had harbored a crush on the dark boy for a while, but was always too scared to act on it. But as the silence dragged on he became worried that Danny thought the kiss to be a mistake. “What do you want?” Danny asked suddenly into the quietness. Jack thought, he could only say one thing, “You.” Danny nodded slightly and whispered to Jack a question inquiring about their relationship, “Will you be with me?” He asked and Jack knew that the boy was blushing. Jack agreed instantly and Danny kissed him again, this one lasting longer than the first only stopping when the need for breath became too much. Danny told Jack that he wanted to remember this day forever, so Jack got his camera out of his bag that was sitting next him. Together they took a picture, Danny smiling softly with Jack’s head on his shoulder, the flash of the camera blinding them and sealing the moment in both of their memories. Afterward when the picture was developed they sat together in Danny’s room looking at it. Danny wrote a title on the back of the card and dated it. Danny told Jack that he would forever think of picture as the day that Jack said yes.

                                                                                                9

The box and the letter arrived at their destination on the same day. Unfortunately the person that they were intended for would never see them. He was in a room entirely consumed by paintings. Some of the paintings pictured only shapes, ugly blobs of hate and despair and bright red, angry lines taking the shape of blood escaping the uncomfortable confines of the wrist. Others showed two men, one Tall and dark, the other shorter and fair. In those paintings the two men were together and they had clear expressions of happiness on their faces. One showed the two sitting together in the dark and under their feet the man had written: The night that I said yes. He had finished this painting the day before; right after he was done he left to get everything he needed for later. He wondered what would happen if he was wrong. But he knew deep down that he was correct. The darker man that he always painted was gone. And there was nothing else the man could do. So he left to get what he needed. The blonde hair had been pulled into a ponytail and as he stood up on the chair, he thought that he always known the other man was a liar. Danny had no right to promise not when he had no idea what was to happen to him, himself. He looked over to the painting of the two of them and felt nothing. Everything that he had once felt, the pain, the depression, the anguish was all was gone now. What was left of the blonde man was a shell. A creaking noise entered the room, now and then but the man didn’t mind. How could he when he was the one causing the noises.  As the rope torn into his purpled flesh and the wind blew his body back and forth, a mailman knocked on the door three times before leaving a slip of paper telling him to go to the post office to receive his package. The man wouldn’t be going anywhere for a long while though, the package would just have to wait, because the blonde haired, blue eyed, purple necked man realized not to long ago that soldiers were never meant to keep their promises.

                                                                                                                                    

 

 

 

 

 

by ragdoll12