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You, Me and the Open Sea


 


You, Me and the Open Sea - Part One


(for Ella on her third birthday xx)


 


Just you, me and the open sea,


in a boat with a big white sail.


We’ll ride the surf and laugh with glee,


said the centipede to the snail.


 


We’ll point our boat towards the sun


as it sets on the edge of the land.


We’ll sing sea songs and have some fun


as we sail away from the sand.


 


You can search the waves for silver stars


to brighten the blackest night sky,


then catch them in your wee glass jars


before hanging them out to dry.


 


I myself will fish for a moon,


said the centipede with a smile.


I know I’ll net one really soon,


if not in a very short while.


 


We’ll light the dark with fairy lights


and just wait for a lullaby


of mermaids bringing golden kites,


then off to our dreams we will fly.


 


 


 



by bluemoon (Viewed 376 times)

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Other Critiques of this Work
Given By: CountryAngel
Critique Date:11/09/2009

Critique:Sharon you never seize  to amaze me.  You can tell how much love you have for Ella. Wonderful children story.  
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


Given By: raenie
Critique Date:09/22/2009

Critique:I don't think it's impossible for this to become a children's classic someday--I just loved the tone that you set to your poem, it reminded me so much of Wynken, Blynken and Nod. I could so picture this as a children's book and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for that day to come! I agree with Ninna that the unusual characters give this story an even more unique quality and picturing them in my mind--they seemed so cute having their adventure at sea, fishing for the moon & stars...I can't wait for more adventures of these 2 and can I just say again that I loved this?? Yup, this is really worth 5 stars yet again! Ella is really so lucky & special to have a wonderful aunt such as you :)!
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


Given By: kuirq
Critique Date:09/21/2009

Critique:It's such a lovely poem, each stanza brought a wider smile to my lips :D...and it made me a wee bit teary-eyed too (which doesn't happen all too often). Have you read this to Ella? I'm sure she'll absolutely love it! I do too! Such a carefree poem with a touch of fantasy because of the unlikely (at least to me) companions and their unusual adventure at sea (I'd never have thought of them anywhere else but on land). It made me smile to think of centipedes and snails as adorable (not that I've ever been squeamish about insects and other critters). Ella is indeed lucky to have you as an aunt who will think up of a poem just for her! I'm sure she'll treasure this poem! And I can't help but think how lovely this will be accompanied with an illustration :). I'd have loved to give this 5 stars if I could! Thanks for making me smile today (I need all reasons to do so, I'm afraid I'm getting depressed/frustrated over HP :P).
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


 
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