CATEGORY: Free Verse


Gliding Innocence

Softly,


 as a


newborns


skin


Failing. While the Earth remains Stagnate. Ivory—pale and fresh, the birth A joy. To touch Iridescent, quite as lovely—soaring Precariously. Distinct of all others, Moving with grace. A ballet, an orchestra, Finely tuned. Harmonic dances, Fleeting. With the breeze of days to come, Joy for capturing. So long as the light, Does not fail. Nor rain eludes, Today. With heart and courage, I will fall. Against the frailty of rapid, Symmetry. Elongated motion, so carefully. I choose, I will settle. Down below, Your horizon. Escaping injustice, of the sky. Before me, To the ground. Where lives are born. Allowed to, touch me. Softly, as a newborns skin. To glide freely. Wherever I choose. 


 Proud,


just as


I am.



by Katina (Viewed 262 times)

You must log-on in order to critique and grade any writings. Login here.


Other Critiques of this Work
Given By: kuirq
Critique Date:04/08/2008

Critique:Sometimes I wish I could write the way you do, you have a way of breaking the lines of a poem, that it adds another dimension to it. The words you used indeed are beautiful and easy on the eyes and mind, one can't help but read on through...yeah, they glide! You have written a simple yet powerful ending to it. Wonderful read!

Grade:Excellent


Given By: Ale E
Critique Date:02/01/2008

Critique:Wow this is a very good piece Katina. I especially liked your word choices. Very good indeed. I havn't talked to you in awhile, but i'm glad to report that i think i've finally gotten out of my writers block...well hope you get around to reading some of my poems....hope everything is going well. ale xox
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


Given By: blue_eyes_wander
Critique Date:01/15/2008

Critique:Strokes of cummings here...wow. I absolutely loved this. For some reason, if I'm wrong correct me, but it seemed the message was that in denude, the freedom is like a birth and thus free, the world feels lighter. fresher. More innocent. In any case, a gorgeous piece, worded beautifully from start to finish. Excellent.
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


 
Online Payment Service
One-Stop Write Shop LLC Copyright 2007-2008
visitors since November 2007!
630 total writings, and growing!
Members Only
Writers Station
Logon
User Action Menu View Portfolio View Public Profile View Blog Send Private Message
User Action Menu View Portfolio View Public Profile Send Private Message
User Action Menu View Portfolio View Public Profile Send Private Message