| CATEGORY: Free Verse |
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[Relentless Writing 30 Tokens]
Gliding Innocence
Softly,
as a
newborns
skin
Failing. While the Earth remains Stagnate. Ivory—pale and fresh, the birth A joy. To touch Iridescent, quite as lovely—soaring Precariously. Distinct of all others, Moving with grace. A ballet, an orchestra, Finely tuned. Harmonic dances, Fleeting. With the breeze of days to come, Joy for capturing. So long as the light, Does not fail. Nor rain eludes, Today. With heart and courage, I will fall. Against the frailty of rapid, Symmetry. Elongated motion, so carefully. I choose, I will settle. Down below, Your horizon. Escaping injustice, of the sky. Before me, To the ground. Where lives are born. Allowed to, touch me. Softly, as a newborns skin. To glide freely. Wherever I choose.
Proud,
just as
I am.
by Katina (Viewed 3537 times)
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| Other Critiques of this Work |
| Given By: |   Sgt B 
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| Critique Date: | 08/14/2010 |
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| Critique: | I enjoyed this just as much almost a year later. |
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| Grade: |  |
| Given By: |   Paladin elda
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| Critique Date: | 08/26/2009 |
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| Critique: | This is a wonderul poem, you have this way with words that brings a poem to life. For me one should able to read a poem without the aurther imposing his thoughts on the reader. That you have done here wonderful write my friend |
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| Grade: | |
| Given By: |  enamoured
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| Critique Date: | 02/17/2009 |
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| Critique: | Loved this poem Katina! You definitely have a knack of outdoing yourself with every write. I especially love the way this poem flows, so simple yet so powerful! The analogy is well done...absorbs the reader in its entirety. Not to forget the background picture, it augments the beauty of the poem. Every line in this piece is beautifully written, however if I had to choose a favourite it would be "Ivory—pale and fresh, the birth A joy." Thanks for sharing.:) Throughly enjoyed it!**Shreya** |
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| Grade: | |
| Given By: |  kuirq
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| Critique Date: | 04/08/2008 |
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| Critique: | Sometimes I wish I could write the way you do, you have a way of breaking the lines of a poem, that it adds another dimension to it. The words you used indeed are beautiful and easy on the eyes and mind, one can't help but read on through...yeah, they glide! You have written a simple yet powerful ending to it. Wonderful read! |
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| Grade: | |
| Given By: | Ale E
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| Critique Date: | 02/01/2008 |
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| Critique: | Wow this is a very good piece Katina. I especially liked your word choices. Very good indeed. I havn't talked to you in awhile, but i'm glad to report that i think i've finally gotten out of my writers block...well hope you get around to reading some of my poems....hope everything is going well.
ale xox |
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| Grade: | |
| Given By: | blue_eyes_wander
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| Critique Date: | 01/15/2008 |
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| Critique: | Strokes of cummings here...wow. I absolutely loved this. For some reason, if I'm wrong correct me, but it seemed the message was that in denude, the freedom is like a birth and thus free, the world feels lighter. fresher. More innocent.
In any case, a gorgeous piece, worded beautifully from start to finish.
Excellent.
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