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[Relentless Writing 3 Tokens]

The Alchemist

  

The Alchemist

 

A leadened heart devoid of trust

until an alchemist came along,

turning it into gold-

Or so it seemed...

Trust, broken trust.

 

It was now a locket that held secrets,

that had a key protected by fear

Hidden in the darkness of silence-

Or so it seemed...

Secrets, imprisoned secrets.

 

There was one escape, only through tears,

tarnishing the heart all the more

Somehow encrusting it forever-

Or so it seemed...

Tears, overflowing tears.

 

This river led to the sea of silence,

and stayed there.

Eerily still, no undercurrents perceived-

Or so it seemed...

Silence, deafening silence.

 

Numbing, unwavering trepidation,

kept all those unwanted secrets safe

Weakening the heart, deeming it hopeless-

Or so it seemed...

Trepidation, paralyzing trepidation.

 

But fear also harnesses strength

and the alchemist within was the key

Breaking the silence, unlocking the secrets-

And so it was...

Strength, energizing strength.

 

This eventually led to tenacity,

tears hardening into diamonds of courage

Allowing the waves of silence to finally crash

And so it was...

Tenacity, freeing tenacity.

The heart now had a soaring spirit,

with a fire emboldening other hearts

Infinitely turning lead into gold-

And so it is...

Spirit, emblazoning spirit.

 

This thus far is the story of one heart's triumph,

written for the world to know

Giving hope and gilding hearts-

And so it will be...

Triumph, crowning triumph!

 

NIKKO RAE S. PALMARIO © 2008


Authors Note: 

 Inspiration for this poem actually came from the suggested topics given in the Contest Rules. "Overcoming obstacles" just seemed like such a powerful theme that it made me think of people who were in abusive relationships--since obstacles such as these are so hard to overcome, and therefore are such triumphs. 

This actually started out as a work entitled "Trust"--of which I started to tell a story about a woman betrayed, having my last line of my 1st stanza as "Trust, broken trust" This is the only line retained from "Trust". Since I stopped after writing the 1st stanza and was captivated by my last line that I just knew I had to approach my poem differently-- And so, the alchemist came along, turning lead into gold ^_~  

 I hope you are inspired with this poem, as much as I was suddenly inspired in writing it!  



by raenie (Viewed 638 times)

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Other Critiques of this Work
Given By: Alexgia
Critique Date:01/19/2010

Critique:Very well written and the meaning very clear. As a reader of Nostradomus and alike I find your insight very well painted. Nicely done. Ria

Grade:Excellent


Given By: PoetOfLight
Critique Date:02/19/2008

Critique:I enjoyed the natural progression of this poem.  Yes, inspiring.

Grade:Good


Given By: Sgt B
Critique Date:01/30/2008

Critique:This is a very nice read. I did enjoy it. It was just fun to read! However, I don't know if it is a formatting problem or an editing one. words have run into each other through out this piece. E.G ( fearHidden, safeWeakening. etc.) there are others as well. Please don't get offended as I am only trying to help. as others have helped me as well. Great story. Keep on writing!!!. ~Ron~ Awww it must have been a glitch or something as it read so much better this time. Very entertaining indeed!!! Great story as well Great job.
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


Given By: Dennis
Critique Date:01/30/2008

Critique:Nikko, I read Ron's critique and from what I see on my screen, it is very readable, I am sincerely hoping we can have this finally fixed because this is what the site needs. Otherwise, your write was great, sincerely great, good work miss and congratulations for being a winner. Dennis
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


Given By: Katina
Critique Date:01/29/2008

Critique:Outstanding write! The word choices are what caught my attention and the judges as well. There is uniqueness about this poem. I'll write more when sleep permits. Good work Nikko!
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


 
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