CATEGORY: Poetry


Whereabouts

Through the windows where reality taps,


stirring the emotions with quiet unrest


Between the doors of sickness and health,


revolving quickly so no one gets in


There, death slips through, unwelcome


 


Upon the sea of grief where the heart drowns,


crashing into massive rocks of denial


Amidst the waves of pain and sorrow,


finding a place among the tears,


There, happiness sails through, unforbidden


 


Across the valley where rains never cease,


flooding the land with sadness and angst


Beyond the abyss where tortured souls cry,


clamoring for refuge that is out of reach


There, you have passed through, unscathed


 


Beyond the place where stars reside,


shining for mortals who dare to dream


Past the gates of salvation,


sparkling in the victory of eternal bliss


There, you have entered, unencumbered


 


Past the hill where the sun sets,


seeing its reflection over the lake


Among distant trees and standing stones,


lying underneath the widespread grass


There, you lay buried, unforgotten


 


Along the streets where memory wanders,


cherishing every moment that was spent


Deep within the home of emotions,


dwelling in the joy of a life well-lived


There, you still remain, forever loved



by kuirq (Viewed 418 times)

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Other Critiques of this Work
Given By: bluemoon
Critique Date:06/02/2008

Critique:'Between the doors of sickness and health' , 'death slips through, unwelcome' - what a powerful image & unfortunately one that I understand only too well. We've managed to keep 'him' at bay so far, but it has been a constant battle. This is such an emotional & beautiful poem. You deal with the moment of death itself, the pain & emotion of those left behind, the souls final journey and finally all the joy of memories that remain. I couldn't write these comments straight away, I cried too much. Your poem is so well done, I know that many people will identify with your pain and emotion and at the same time take comfort in your positive outlook that those precious memories will always remain.
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Grade:Excellent


Given By: Katina
Critique Date:04/04/2008

Critique:Super work~! This is an interesting poem, wrapped with pain of death and hope for after. I may have read it wrong, but nevertheless, the poem from beginning to end was a good read. The details, emotion and repetition of certain lines helped to rate the poem a 4 stars. I would enter this into a writing competition, please see the list in the member forum.
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


Given By: PoetOfLight
Critique Date:02/19/2008

Critique:My father passed away in June 2007 and this poem brings back those sad memories.  Very well written.
[View Replies]

Grade:Excellent


Given By: Dennis
Critique Date:02/01/2008

Critique:It just gets better, keep on writing! Dennis

Grade:Excellent


 
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