CATEGORY: Haiku
Feelings!
Those so far away
Separated by years gone
Unite to relive
by Dennis (Viewed 326 times)
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| Other Critiques of this Work |
| Given By: |  Sam U Elle 
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| Critique Date: | 11/05/2008 |
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| Critique: | Lovely, absolutely lovely!
I do tend to agree with Katina, the last line, specifically 'relive' does disrupt the flow...I like her suggestion of "United once more".
Sam U. Elle |
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| Grade: |  |
| Given By: |  Katina
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| Critique Date: | 05/26/2008 |
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| Critique: | The first two lines are outstanding! I have a suggestion for the third line:
"United once more" or "United again" The word, relive seems to break the flow a bit. It could just be my own personal taste. :) I'm glad your writing! |
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| Grade: | |
| Given By: |  CountryAngel
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| Critique Date: | 02/05/2008 |
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| Critique: | I totaly agree Den...
Thanks for the words :) |
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| Grade: |  |
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