CATEGORY: Quatrain


Petals of Rose

Petals of rose fall one by one,


A signal that its journey's done.


Would I but have such dignity
As my last breath flies free from me.



by PoetOfLight (Viewed 406 times)

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Other Critiques of this Work
Given By: raenie
Critique Date:05/12/2008

Critique:I loved this so much that I had to read it like 4 times. The image of rose petals gently falling just stuck on my mind and you worded it beautifully that it was just like a breath of fresh air after being stifled. What you wrote here also holds true for me, that I sure am glad that I viewed your poem, thanks PoetofLight...

Grade:Excellent


Given By: bluemoon
Critique Date:02/20/2008

Critique:This is so beautiful, it made me cry a little. My mum has been seriously ill in intensive care for 5 months now & so much of that time has been very distressing. I would like to think that if we were to lose her it would be like this, gentle and dignified. The only thing I would change if it were my poem would be to replace flies with flows in the last line, it seems more gentle & fitting to the rest of the poem. Having said that it is beautiful just the way it is. Thanks.

Grade:Excellent


 
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