Bubbles - Poetry : One-Stop Write Shop

CATEGORY: Poetry

[Relentless Writing 7 Tokens]

Bubbles

Don’t blow bubbles in the wind

They will burst in mid air

And you'll lose everything

by Dorie (Viewed 722 times)

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Other Critiques of this Work

Given By:	soulpath
Critique Date:	03/06/2009

Critique:	I like this piece, It seems to offer advice by telling some one where not to blow bubbles, and skillfuly forgets to mention wherever you blow bubbles they will burst, offers hope where there is no hope to be found.


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Given By:	Ale E
Critique Date:	05/11/2008

Critique:	This was very cute! I enjoyed it. Nicely done. ale xox


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Given By:	Hendrick13
Critique Date:	04/27/2008

Critique:	This is one of those poems that states the obvious, which needs restating. It makes the reader think about an underlying meaning.


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Given By:	Katina
Critique Date:	04/23/2008

Critique:	The first sentence elicits fun from childhood. The title worlds very well also. In the last line, the tone shifts, almost surprising the reader. Nice work.


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Given By:	raenie
Critique Date:	04/10/2008

Critique:	So very true indeed--your poem has a different approach to bubbles and has a subtext, and makes one think...where does one blow bubbles now?


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Given By:	Sgt B
Critique Date:	04/04/2008

Critique:	So very factual. I don't believe I've every thought about bubbles in this manner before. Nice job. ~Ron~


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Given By:	bluemoon
Critique Date:	04/04/2008

Critique:	I Like this. Taken at face value it's so simple & so obvious, yet it still needs pointing out. You did that so nicely. Looking a bit deeper maybe you shouldn't stop blowing bubbles in the wind. Okay so some will burst quickly but then maybe the direction of the wind will change and some will be carried far & wide. Made me think about my philosophy on life. Do I give up at the first hurdle or do I keep on trying? I hope it's the latter. Thanks for a few words that made me think lots. Nice write.


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