CATEGORY: Children Stories


Tristan the Fire Fighter

Tristan the Firefighter worked at the city’s biggest Fire hall #4 Tristan was the fire chief and had lots of responsibilities.  He had to make sure all the other firemen did their chores. 


The fire hall had a kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, living room, just like a house except for the big pole in the floor.  The pole was for the firemen to slide down to get to their big red fire trucks when there was an emergency.


On the days there were no fires, the firemen would wash the trucks so they were sparkling clean, also they would make sure all the equipment was working properly.   Testing the hoses and making sure they had no cracks.  Making sure the first aid containers were all filled.  Checking their masks and uniforms, and the air tanks they used when they went into a smoke filled room.


It was Tristan’s job to be sure all this was done. 


Sometimes the firemen even had visitors school classes would come and see the fire trucks and ask lots of questions like how different things work.


 In Fire hall #4 there was pumping trucks, and ladder trucks even a rescue truck that looked like an ambulance with lots of dials and gauges in it.  Tristan drove the fire chief’s truck.  It had lights and sirens just like the bigger trucks.  No matter what the emergency was, Tristan was there making sure the other fireman were safe and the job was done well.


On one sunny afternoon Tristan and the rest of the firefighters were just finishing the dishes from their lunch when the siren wailed.


“Ok everybody” said Tristan “There is a fire on Willis Street, we need to get there now, so lets go.”


One by one all the firemen jumped onto the pole and slid down to the bottom where their uniforms were and to start the trucks.  Everyone got dressed very fast and jumped onto their trucks.  Tristan opened the big doors so the trucks could get out.  He also gave the drivers of the trucks the address so they knew where they were going.  Once all the trucks were out and on their way, Tristan closed the big doors and jumped into his truck.  He could hear the sirens from his firemen as they sped towards the fire.  Tristan turned his lights and siren on too. 


All the other drivers got out of the way when they saw and heard the fire trucks coming.  That made it easier to get to the fire.  Tristan passed tall buildings and malls on his way to the emergency.  He drove very fast; there is not a lot of time when there is a fire. 


As Tristan was getting closer to the fire, he could see the smoke. 


“Boy, that looks like a big one” he said to himself.


As Tristan came around the last corner, he saw the fire.  It was a big one.  His firemen were already there, pulling out the long hoses and raising the ladder on the ladder truck.


Tristan parked his truck and ran over to help. 


“Does anyone know how this got started?” he asked


“The owners are over there” said someone on the street.


“Thank you” Tristan answered.


Tristan rushed over to the owners who were very shocked.


“My name is Tristan and I am the fire chief, is everybody out?” he asked the owners


“Our dog is still in there, I couldn’t find him” the owner said


“Don’t worry, we’ll find him, I need to know what his name is?” Tristan asked


“Abernathy, his name is Abernathy” the owners cried “Oh, please let him be alright.


Tristan ran over to where his firemen were.  They had already started to spray the water to put out the fire


“There is a dog still inside,” Tristan yelled “his name is Abernathy and we need to save him.  Please look for him.”


Tristan helped his firemen get the fire under control.  He put on his helmet and his air tanks to go inside with a crew of his men.


The fire was much smaller now but not totally out so he had to be very careful.  As the firemen went into the house with their big hose Tristan heard a whining sound, then barking. 


“It’s the dog” he yelled “Abernathy, here Abernathy”


Abernathy started to bark, he was very scared.


Tristan followed the sound, while his men were spraying inside the house.  The fire was almost out.


Tristan and the other men walked very carefully, the house could fall down at any time.  Still following the sound of the barking dog. 


Tristan opened a closet door.  “There you are.” He said, “However did you get stuck in there.”  Tristan picked up Abernathy “I found him!” he yelled “I found the dog! I’m going to take him out to safety.  I’ll be right back.”


“Gotcha chief” One of the other firemen yelled back “We’re almost done here.”


Tristan spoke softly to the dog, “its ok Abernathy, I’m going to take you back to your family now.  You are going to be just fine.”


The dog whined as Tristan carried it outside and to its waiting owners.


“Here you go” Tristan said “I would probably have him checked by a vet, but he seems to be doing just fine.”


The owners were so happy.  They took Abernathy and hugged him, petted him and kissed him.


“I have to go back inside now” stated Tristan “The job is not done yet.  With that he pulled his helmet back down and ran back into the house.  By the time Tristan got back into the house the fire was all but out.  He and his men were in there for another half hour making sure all the fire was out.  There was a lot of damage but most of it on the upper floors.  When the job was done, the firemen went back outside, took their helmets and air tanks off.  They spent a few minutes just breathing the clean air. 


Their job however was not yet done.  They turned off the pumper and rolled the hoses back up.  Brought the ladder down and put all their things away now that they were done with them.  Then they left the house with the fire to go and put gas in the trucks and head back to base.


It was way past supper time when they returned to Fire hall #4.  They still had a lot of work to do.  Cleaning the trucks and making sure everything was done properly.  Then to clean themselves up.  A nice shower and some rest time just hit the spot.  It was a job well done and the firemen were all very tired. 


The doorbell to the Fire house rang.  Tristan got up and went to answer it.  When he opened the door.  A wonderful surprise was waiting for him.  The owners of the house had sent lots of different pizzas for the firemen to eat.  Also a nice big strawberry short cake that had Thank You written in strawberries on the top.  Tristan gave the delivery man a big tip and took all the yummy food inside for his men.  They were all very happy and full.  There was even pizza left over, but no cake, it all got eaten. 


Now that they were fed and a hard days work behind them Tristan and the firemen went to bed early, so they would be ready for another day of work tomorrow.


 



by LiveWire (Viewed 144 times)

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Other Critiques of this Work
Given By: kuirq
Critique Date:04/17/2008

Critique:The theme could appeal to very young children, boys especially. Very simple, yet it gives a glimpse of a life in a day of a firefighter. However, it would be better if there was something unique to the storyline, I don't know, a bit of suspense maybe? I feel like it's a bit too common. But I could imagine illustrations for it very easily. Also, there are some punctuations lacking in some paragraphs (apostrophes and commas) that could help for an easier read.

Grade:Average


Given By: david lavisher
Critique Date:04/17/2008

Critique:Hi, I could be wrong, but I think this story has been written by a new - ish or young writer. The story has prospects and the layout of the writing will improve the more you write.  The story rolls along nicely and doesn't have too many theme stops. I reckon it's a good effort and you should be encouraged to write more often. Good effort.

Grade:Average


Given By: Dennis
Critique Date:04/17/2008

Critique:Your story has potencial and with a little revising (commas) it could read somewhat better then it did. Your plot line was well thought out but I agree with Kuriq that adding a little suspence whould spice up your story. Something like when Tristan was carrying out the dog the floor suddenly gave away and Tristan fell through the floor never letting the dog flee his arms. His men franticly recued Tristan and the dog and delivered the dog to his owners. It adds excitement for the reader and improves the overall plot. I am assumig this is a first draft, just a little more work and I think you could have something publishable. Hope this helps. dennis

Grade:Good


 
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