As She Walks Away - Love Poetry : One-Stop Write Shop

CATEGORY: Love Poetry

As She Walks Away

She walks away.

My dream.

My fantasy.

Gone forever

to the distance end.

Left with only a glimpse in my mind.

A bond not broken,

destroyed.

A unity of one

now two.

An angel with her shadow,

now a demon with its prey.

Forever gone.

My friend.

My love.

My brightly lit candle,

now dims

as she walks away.

by fallat (Viewed 187 times)

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Other Critiques of this Work

Given By:	Trene
Critique Date:	08/16/2008

Critique:	I really love this poem, simple but written with love and emotion. Great work - you have my vote.


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Given By:	CountryAngel
Critique Date:	08/09/2008

Critique:	I am sorry for the loss you feel ! I can read between the lines...


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Given By:	Dennis
Critique Date:	08/08/2008

Critique:	I can relate to your poem. It is hard to separate when one party is still in love and the other is not. A lost feeling like a part of you is gone and can never be replaced, so there you stand alone in your sorrow. Your poem makes this point so clearly and I think most people have had a simular experience, at least once in life. Good job with this one.


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Given By:	david lavisher
Critique Date:	05/04/2008

Critique:	Hi, this is a nice poem and the thoughts are worthy ones. It's my opinion (and mine only) that there are so many love/love lost/unrequited love poems that they almost have to be unique to gain attention anywhere these days. Sometimes it can be down to the layout of a poem, (like you seem to prefer the long, narrow format) or even the last line to finish the piece.


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