CATEGORY: Poetry Bookmark and Share



Sliver

A moment begins and ends

the same as it began,

passing through time

like a sliver of wood into flesh,

forgotten, but,

after long years

it is discovered by happenstance,

embedded,

and then it aches.

 

A moment...

It slips between the fingers

of desire, into

the shadows of thought--

effortless.

 

You know then

how small you are,

for to forget is to be reminded

that your flesh is ash,

your blood, brine,

and your bones

but cobwebs.

 

You are human in that moment.

You are a chaotic voice

in a sensible whisper.

Feelings become as age'd

as the wine that sits

and grows flat

upon your dark table,

and in the shadows

dreams sigh deeply--

a meloncholy sound,

like wind stirring rows of wheat.

 

Fingering the outer rim of the soup bowl,

you wish rememberance would come;

how silk once felt,

how the wind would blow sharp

as a knife on your brow

in the winter,

or what it felt like

to wipe a sheen of sweat from your arm.

 

But winter is forgotten,

summer, fall, spring,

all have been left

as a parched flowerbed

that does not die,

that does not live.

 

Life becomes a cold finger

pressing insistently on a silent vein.

 

Life becomes a memory

waiting to be remembered.



by blue_eyes_wander

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Other Critiques of this Work
Given By: soulpath
Critique Date:03/11/2009

Critique:An excellent and thought provoking piece. Loved the mood of the piece. Mike

Grade:Excellent


Given By: PoetOfLight
Critique Date:02/19/2008

Critique:A powerful commentary on Life as we know it.  Some really good lines here.

Grade:Excellent


Given By: Ale E
Critique Date:12/29/2007

Critique:Wow..i thought this was great. I agree with Kuirq..the last lines sum this whole poem up beautifully. Very good write. I enjoyed it!

Grade:Excellent


Given By: kuirq
Critique Date:11/28/2007

Critique:A wonderful poem. Something that you will indeed love to read again. The last two lines summed it up perfectly.

Grade:Excellent


Given By: Musimwa
Critique Date:08/21/2007

Critique:I had to return to read this poem again, I love it, love it, love it! WOW

Grade:Excellent


Given By: Katina
Critique Date:08/19/2007

Critique:This is an amazing write. At first, I thought that the poem was about life and death, but after re-reading the poem, it felt like there was more to the poem than just life/death. I believe the poem is about how we live our lives, and knowing when to reach out to grab moments, or to do good so that we can be remembered in a good light. (Maybe) Am I close? Your writing skills are some of the best I have read. Poetry is all about descriptions, and not just rhymes, you have done this very well in this poem. Have you studied poetry before? This is an excellent piece of writing. I know that you will do well in one of our writing contest. I hope you will upgrade to the basic level so that you can share more of your work with us here at One Stop Write Shop. I am upping the amt of writings people can have with a membership today. Thank you for submitting your work. I'll be back to read this again, I would like to print it out, but my printer has bitten the dust. :) --Katina M. Woodruff

Grade:Excellent


 
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