Nirvana - Prologue

It was fire. That’s what
it had to be, fire. Fire was red. Fire consumed. Fire ate everything,
leaving nothing but ash and destruction. Fire tore all inhibition from
your body and made you writhe and scream and cry out names you never
wanted to speak again. It smothered you as the wild, pale smoke
scratched it’s way down your throat and the burning itched so bad, so
bad you wanted to tear your skin off but you didn’t have to, because
your whole entire body felt like an ice statue, like a candle, because
it was melting and you could literally feel the liquid skin dripping
away until you were resigned to being reduced to nothingness. You
wanted to leap up and run, run away, run to the ocean, run off a tower,
run anywhere, yet your nerves were too singed to send the impulses. And
all you can hear is this high-pitched noise that might be coming from
you but it might not. But she couldn’t be certain. She had never been
on fire before.

The red…the red was everywhere. No, no, it wasn’t red. It was more of a
burnt orange. Haha…burnt orange, yes, that’s what it was. Just like
her. Oh god, how it hurt, how it burned, how it trapped the heat inside
and bombarded her with it from the outside, like divided lovers
struggling to their last breath to be reunited. Their last breath. Just
like her.

But
why? Why did it have to be her last one, why did it all have to end,
why did it have to hurt? She thought she was prepared for this. She
thought it would be a relief. She thought she wanted it to be over. She
thought a lot of things. And they were all wrong. All of them. Wrong,
wrong, wrong. Oh god. All wrong. And it hurt.

The tears, the flames wouldn’t let them stay. They were running down
her cheeks and down her chin and down her neck and down, down into the
hole in her chest to try and fill it but they couldn’t, oh no, the
flames wanted her to be empty so she couldn’t fight back and they could
turn her into an empty husk of a soul. And then…then she would
disintegrate, fall apart, turn to dust. Dust. Nothing more than dust,
dust made for scattering on the breeze.

Was this divine punishment? Had they ignored her sufferings, her pleas
for help, those desperate pleas, all the while she did what was asked
of her whatever was asked and they left her for the wolves for the
hungry vicious wolves. And then they saw her, saw her an insignificant
pawn swept into the corner by all the knights and kings and princesses
that had so occupied their time. Knight and kings and princesses that
had done nothing, pawns that used pawns with the futile hope they could
become players. But what did it matter what did those fools matter when
they finally saw her. And she had done all they asked, all they asked
and more and but they rolled the die of fate and said she had sinned.

Now they let the devil have her.

Unless he had had her the whole time, the whole journey hadn’t been a
message from the gods but the devil toying with her and letting her
think she could make things right that they had entrusted her with a
task. Was that his plan? Did he feed off despair, off the despair of
any who crossed his path and she had just had the misfortune to stumble
across it? Then perhaps the gods had nothing to do with it never
abandoning her no not abandoning for how can you abandon someone you
were never with. Such a silly girl. Thought the gods abandoned her.
Thought she was important enough to warrant that sort of attention.

So it was the devil then but when did it start? Must have been that
day…yes, that day not too long ago when all she thought about was the
moment and how green the grass was and how awfully pretty the sky
looked when it was littered with the tear drops of the gods. The gods
who wouldn’t cry for her, no, not for her.

So why…why did she feel their tears on her face, tears strong enough to
pass through the flames and let her feel just a half moment of relief
from the chaos and the pain and the turmoil. Another tear. And another.
Splish-splash just like the rain used to before the devil decided to
keep her. Rain. That’s what it was. The gods wouldn’t cry for her, no,
not for her.

by attackduckiez (Viewed 165 times)